ONE TRUE FACT

Can somebody tell me if “sectarian violence” is the new politically correct term for genocide? Perhaps this term is more polite and it helps us to separate ourselves from the massacres that are taking place in and around the city of Baghdad. I can’t help but notice the thousands of bodies that are turning up in the months since Iraq’s democratic elections. Body after body, victim after victim, person after person; all of these individuals are being murdered one by one. Perhaps it is easier for us to label these massacres as sectarian violence, rather than list the names of each human being that is being taken by these acts of hate. I recall how the world ignored the genocide that took place in Rwanda where nearly a million people were slaughtered during the Hutus Vs Tutsi disaster. I see the world reacting the same way to this same script, different cast, that features Iraq and the Sunnis Vs Shiites massacre. While the Bush administration fuzzes over the language that defies this Iraqi Genocide, more and more people are dying. The Bush administration is clearly failing in it’s objectives for Iraq; they are failing our troops; they are failing the Iraqi people and worst of all they are unable to cope with the issues of genocide. They stand around debating the definitions of words so they choose to close their eyes and embrace the lackluster term of sectarian violence rather than to face up to the fact that violent death and genocide is embracing so many human lives. Genocide is Genocide and that is one true fact!

THE INSANITY OF BABE RUTH

Mom and I had gone in on some tickets so we could enjoy our national pastime at least once this upcoming summer. Our home team, the St. Louis Cardinals were facing off with the Arizona Diamondbacks so we all figured it would be a easy victory for the Cardinals. We decided we would take grandpa for his birthday and my four year old nephew, Isaiah. This would be his first ballgame; he was extremely excited about it and had been informing everyone that he was going to see some baseball.
The morning of the ballgame, I got a bit of a surprise. Mom and my grandmother, Nano decided to take a last minute trip to Florida that very day so Mom would not be coming along with us. I was furious with her; this entire baseball trip had been her idea and she was ditching us at the last moment. It wasn’t typical of her to do something like this which confused the hell out of me since she wouldn’t explain why she was leaving for Florida so sudden. She then told me that my brother, Cory and his wife, Julia would be taking her place. Then out of the blue, Terry, my mother’s husband walked into the room and announced that he wanted to go to the game as well. The confusion in my mind kept mounting as Terry hated baseball and he especially hated the St. Louis Cardinals.
Mom and Nano then rushed out of the house without even saying goodbye. I was literally pissed on how they had been acting and I turned around on Terry and asked him what the hell was going on and all he could say is that he was ready for some baseball, a clear mimic of my nephew. I rolled my eyes and stormed out the door yelling at everyone to get into the van. This entire morning had been nothing but bullshit and all I wanted to do was to go back home and leave all of this chaos behind me. The only thing that stopped me from just leaving was the excitement in Isaiah’s eyes and how ready he was to embrace baseball.
Everyone got loaded up in the van as I got behind the wheel while Julia climbed into the front passenger seat with my other 3 year old nephew, Elijah. I asked her what she was doing with Elijah and why he wasn’t in a car seat. She replied by saying there wasn’t enough room so he would have to set in her lap. I could immediately feel my blood begin to boil. Not only was this plain stupidity on Julia’s part but it was also against the law and there was no way in hell I was driving while my nephew was in clear danger of being hurt along with my possible arrest and conviction of child endangerment.
Terry then stepped in and said he would drive and if I didn’t like the circumstances then I could stay at home. I couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening at this moment. Terry was clearly pissed about something and my fear was that my mother had decided to leave him and our family. I didn’t say anything to him and made my way into the back of the van taking Elijah with me. There was no way I was going to have him in the front seat with Julia where he could easily fly out the window. I buckled us both in the seatbelt and we were soon off to St. Louis.
Upon our arrival at the stadium I was shocked on the disarray the area seemed to have fallen into. They had begun remodeling Busch Stadium even though the stadium itself was only four years old. The area that our seats were in was the real kicker. They had taken down the guard rail along the front roll of seats on the second balcony where we were seated. There was only about three feet of walking space between our seats and a drop off of at least thirty feet. Julia and Cory were standing on the very edge with Isaiah and Elijah jumping up on them trying to get their attention. I screamed at both of them that the kids could easily fall and I grabbed them and placed them in their seats and told them both not to move. This entire ordeal was ridiculous! I then noticed that Terry, Cory, and grandpa were already drinking and it was just a matter of time before one of them plunged to their deaths. This day was going to end badly has it began.
They had built a playground on the side of the baseball field and Julia decided to take the boys to go play. I was relieved when she did this cause my eyes were constantly on them. My heart had been pounding in my head from the fear that one of them were going to fall. Terry, Cory, and Grandpa were already drunk off their asses. They were hugging each other and slurring their words in their vein attempt to communicate with me. They had also laid claim to the soft cushioned seats while I got stuck with a wooden bench at the end of the roll. I paid for half of the tickets and I got shelved with a wooden bench. This entire day was a big FUCK YOU CHAD!
My headache began to pound beyond believe as the first inning began. I laid down on the bench and closed my eyes for a moment to try and to collect my thoughts. Suddenly, I felt someone come up behind me on the bench. I opened my eyes and turn my head to see an handsome British man with a bit of nerdy quality about him. He looked at me with a hint of devilish glimmer in his eyes and asked if it was okay if he curled up behind me on the bench for he too had been through a long day. This whole experience was strange enough and I couldn’t grasp that this complete stranger wanted to lay down with me on a ballpark bench. I told him it was okay and I turned my head back towards the sixth inning. A short time later I felt the strangers arm wrap around my waist. My heart was pounding in my head again as this British stranger embraced me. I glanced up at the three drunken members of my family; they were all to involved in explaining the meaning of baseball to noticed the stranger spooning me.
Glancing back towards the field I realized that they had stopped the game in the middle of the ninth inning. I noticed three security guards chasing a small child into the middle of the field. In the horror of my realization I stumbled off of the bench and almost went over the edge. Isaiah had interrupted the game by running across the field towards home base. The three guards caught up with him and snatched the screaming boy up into their arms. In the corner of my eye I saw Julia come around the corner without Elijah. I screamed at the top of my lungs telling her that Isaiah had been accosted and asked her where her other son was. She simply replied by saying that she dropped them off at the playground and got some beer for everyone. I just stood there in disbelief as shock took a hold of my body.
Julia walked around me to join the drunken heralds as the three security guards came around the corner with Isaiah. Embarrassment began to dwell throughout the complexion of my face as the guard asked me if the kid belonged to me. I told them that I had never seen the kid in my entire life as Isaiah screamed out, “UNCLE CHAD!!!”. Damn, the child had blown my cover! I relented and took Isaiah in my arms as the officers began to scold me about leaving a child by himself on the playground. I looked back at my alcohol induced family as they were laughing about the whole situation. Anger began to build inside of me while I turned and looked down at the British stranger who was reaching out to me to join him on the bench. I silently laughed at myself at the thought of having a life with this man. I didn’t have time to deal with what this stranger wanted let alone the needs of myself. The officers continue to point out the irresponsibility of the circumstances when I noticed the game was over. The St. Louis Cardinals had lost by eight; a horrible lost at the end of this horrible day.
I couldn’t take anymore of it… my mother had abandoned us, the male members of this family were drunken lunatics, I had a handsome stranger who I would never be with, I had one missing child and another that had interrupted a national televised game, and I had three officers scolding me on the responsibilities of parenthood even though I am childless. I held on tighter to Isaiah and I closed my eyes and started to scream. I screamed with everything I had inside of myself and I released the building negative energy that had been building inside of me the entire day.
I opened my eyes and my bedroom ceiling was staring down at me. I looked to my left and the British stranger was replaced by the emptiness of my soft bed. The noise of the disappointed ballgame crowd was replaced by the silence of my bedroom. My loud drunken family was replaced by the pictures of them on my nightstand. The entire incident had been one long dream and I had fallen victim to the manipulation that all seemed so unreal to me at this point. I grabbed the remote control and turned on the television set and found a tennis game that I started to watch from the safety of my own bed.

THE INCLINATION OF RHETT BUTLER

The need for companionship is always constant in human nature just as the desire to mate is a constant goal of the male species. We think about sex more often than not and we spend hours on end imagining ways to satisfy the sexual driven hunger that lives within every male. As a single American male, I often find myself in positions where I can easily satisfy this sexual hunger without the complications of commitment and monogamy. I can honestly say that in the times of my life when I am single, I greatly enjoy the title and throw myself into all the aspects of single-hood.
Dinner and drinks with friends is a perk that I enjoy greatly as a single man. I met up with two buddies of mine one night at a local late night restaurant to talk the typical conversations of men that ranged from everything between politics to religion to the joy of sex. Gene and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant and were seated by a young, handsome waiter. As the waiter showed us to our table I couldn’t help but notice his ass that was complimented by the tight fitness of his black pants. I instantly had images of the things I wanted to do with that fine example of an ass and firmly made eye contact with him while he took our drink order. He had a boyish charisma that any waiter would want and would use to manipulate their customers to get that bigger anticipated tip. He had a constant smile as he took down our drink order and a slight sparkle in his eye. Instinctively, my eyes narrowed and followed the waiter’s firm ass as he walked away with our drink order.
Gene and I were soon joined by our third companion and we began to partake in our conversation, always with the thought of the waiter in the back of my mind and how badly I wanted to fuck him. He was a constant distraction for me throughout the entire night “Why don’t you ask for his telephone number?” my buddies asked. I couldn’t find myself to be so direct with a complete stranger but the need for sex had been building in me for a while. I had to figure out a way to get this guy back to my apartment. The occasional eye contact and smile was only driving my sex drive to an ecstatic peak. This is the best and worst part about being a guy, when an individual begins to think with his dick and not his head. I began to implement my plan using only the brilliance of my dick.
As our dinner came to an end and the conversation came full circle we prepared to pay our bill and depart ways for the night. After paying for my part of the bill using my debit card I took the receipt back to the table and took out a couple of dollars for his tip. Using his own pen that I had taken from the counter I wrote on the receipt, “My name is Chad… If you want the rest of your tip, you’ll have to earn it. Call me at blah blah blah.” I then left the restaurant with my buddies not having to deal with the awkwardness of trying to get him into bed and of course, the possible rejection of my advances.
My phone began to ring while I climbed the stairs to my downtown apartment. I answered without looking who the call was from and simply said “Hello.”
“Hi, is this Chad?”
“Yes”
“This is your waiter. I was calling to find out how I can earn the rest of my tip.” The smile quickly engulfed my face as I realized that I was going to get some tonight. “Well, I guess you will find out when you get off and come over to my apartment.” I gave him my address and he told me he would be over after he got off in another hour. That would place him at my place around 2:30 in the morning so it gave me enough time to pick up and to take a quick shower.
The doorbell rang as I calmly walked downstairs to answer his call. The door opened as I greeted the waiter with a smile and he kindly returned the same greeting. I lead him to the living room where I had two beers waiting and we began a conversation. We talked about college life and what we wanted to do with ourselves down the road. We talked about family and friends and how we got to this point in our lives. We shared funny stories, happy moments and a few sad memories and after a few hours worth of conversation there was a pause.
“So… how do I earn that tip?” he smiled at me and I slowly leaned towards him and began kissing him. His mouth was nice and my body quickly began to react to his warm scent. I pulled him close to me and he quickly responded by pulling my hip towards his. I removed his shirt and started to kiss his neck and chest; I wanted to ravage him completely. I pulled him off the couch as he wrapped his legs around my waist and I carried him into my room and had my way with him.
The sun was rising as we both laid there holding each other. The sum of our action had led us both to be quite satisfied and that ever present sexual hunger had subsided for the time being. Some time went by as we dwelled in the afterglow of our actions and then the waiter finally spoke. He had to get back to his dorm but he smiled and proudly proclaimed that he had a good time with me. I returned his compliment and told him the same thing while he put on his clothes. I walked him to the front door and kissed him one last time before he left. Watching him drive away I reflected on the time we spent together and a smile appeared on my face. I would have to call Gene later in the day and tell him of my encounter with our gentleman waiter. For the moment however, sleep was calling for me in the back of my mind and I obeyed my body’s intuition and collapsed back into my bed, closing my eyes, and letting my mind drift into dreams.
　

IT'S JUST ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY

10:00 - Wake up from a dream that had my nephew, Isaiah grow up to be Darth Vader. My other nephew, Elijah and I go into hiding only for Vader to find us and kill Elijah. I then go back in time and have both Isaiah and Elijah frozen. I spend the next 20 years hunting down the Sith Lord Palpatine so the boys can have a normal life. After killing him, I unfreeze the boys who haven’t aged a day, (they are both 4 and 3 respectively) I amazedly have not aged a day either. I apparently raise them on my own since my entire family is M.I.A.. I think about this for several minutes.
10:09 - Get out of bed to pee.
10:12 - Realize my best friend, Jason did not call me back last night. Wondering if he’s okay.
10:15 - Thinking about watching “Mamma Mia“. My grandmother, Nano, walks into the room and says “Good Morning, coffee’s made if you want some.” I say, “Okay.”
10:17 - I fix a cup of coffee.
10:19 - I turn on “The View” and Joy Behar has control of the conversation. They just started talking about Farrah Fawcett’s battle with cancer. I feel sad for her. Nano comes into the room to watch the show.
10:26 - Nano talks about the early days of her life at Wal-Mart
10:29 - Nano is still talking… I’m thinking about Anderson Cooper… Naked.
10:35 - Nano is still talking… something about foot fungus. I’m trying to focus on “The View”. I wish I could spend the day with Whoopi.
10:43 - Nano is still talking… something about Las Vegas and her slots.
10:44 - Nano is still talking… back on the topic of Wal-Mart. I tune out, thinking about Anderson Cooper taking me to a S&M bar. I’ve never been to one… I wonder what’s it’s like.
10:51 - Nano is still talking… She needs bleach to clean the floors. I find myself strangely attracted to Elizabeth Hasselbeck. I dislike her views, love her resilience. Nano and I begin to discuss the legalization of marijuana, the Minnesota Senate race, the Great Depression until the conversation turns back to Wal-Mart. Most of the conversation is inspired by “The View”.
11:03 - Nano has stopped talking. “The Price is Right” has grabbed her attention. I start thinking about taking a shower.
11:05 - Thinking about what a shower would be like with Anderson Cooper, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Drew Barrymore. My body begins to react to the image in my head. I begin to hum “Jesus Loves Me” to get the thought out of my head.
11:14 - Realize that Nano is talking again. She is judging the outfits of the contestants on “The Price is Right” I realize that she is being very cruel and judgmental towards them. I just think she would rather be in their shoes at the moment. I laugh to myself.
11:17 - Get up to take a shower.
11:24 - Turn on my I-Tunes. The Bangles’ Manic Monday is on constant rotation while I’m in the shower
11:41 - Manic Monday ends on 7th Rotation… start listening to “Here in your Arms” by HelloGoodbye as I dry off and get dressed.
11:50 - Leave the bathroom and come back into the living room to watch the finale of “The Price is Right”
11:51 - Nano is talking… something about a condo. I’m focused on preparing something for lunch. Regretting not jerking off to the shower scene I thought about earlier in the day. Perhaps I will find time to do it this coming week. Can’t remember the last time I masturbated. I wonder if something is wrong with me.
11:58 - Cute boy won “The Price is Right”. I start fixing a couple of sandwiches for lunch.
12:05 - Start watching Mamma Mia with Nano. Eating lunch and thinking about Jason. I feel bothered by something but I can’t pinpoint it…
1:06 - Run out to go pee in the middle of Meryl Streep’s performance of Super Trooper.
1:08 - Just noticed my nails are getting long so I grab the clippers and start clipping.
1:21 - I’m in love with Meryl Streep and Christine Baranski. I twitter this thought out to my friends.
1:59 - Mamma Mia is over. L
2:05 - Take Nano to Mom’s house.
2:07 - Text Jason. “R u ok? Just thinking about you.”
2:17 - Get gas at Casey’s
2:28 - “I was kissing Valentino by a crystal blue, Italian stream.” Can’t get that fucking song out of my head! Should have never listened to it in the shower.
2:33 - Take Nano to the post office… Wishing I had more friends in the area to hang out with. I wonder if my friend Nora is still at work. I need to check to see if my twitter is connected to my phone. I’m baking in the sun. Hot guy just came out of the post office. We should be tangled around each other on the hood of his Mercedes . God! It’s been almost two months since I’ve had sex.
2:38 - Nano is back!
2:39 - Nano is talking… something about mold in her toilet. Jason sends a text. “Yes, I’m okay. Just got some shit to work thru. I’m not really ready to talk about it yet. I’m sorry.” I wonder what’s going on… my concern level just skyrocketed.
2:53 - Text Jason, “I’m here when your ready.” I also text my other best friend Gene, “Hope your Manic Monday is well.” Fucking song!
2:57 - NBC is bringing back “Chuck” in the fall!!! YEA!!!!!
3:14 - Twitter is connected to my phone! YEA!!!
3:18 - Jogging to Mom’s house and back.
4:16 - Back from Jogging. Jogged eight blocks and fell into a ditch. Laid there for about five minutes wondering where my life went wrong. Dad calls me. He and my step mom were arrested for selling pot. Their house was raided. I start thinking about the drug induced culture that is my life. Jason pops into my head again.
4:20 - Send out a twitter about my Dad being arrested…
4:25 - Just noticed the time that I sent out the twitter about my Dad being arrested on the pot charges… This has just made me laugh. I think it might be the highlight of my day… The IRONY of it ALL!!!!
5:13 - Get a text from Jason, “OMG your dad got raided! How crazy! “
5:16 - Mom calls for more information about my Dad. She laughs at the notion but glad their both okay. She tells me to keep her updated. I can’t picture my parents ever being together. I wonder if my Dad still thinks it’s 1969 and not 2009. I wonder if this would be a shocking event in another’s person life. I think how Nora and I are two peas in a pod… she has gone thru a similar ordeal. I think about the day Isaiah was born and how my brother and I got high. Everything was so stressful with his birth. I don’t remember the last time I got high… it’s been a while. I think it was a month ago. I’ve never really embraced marijuana like so many people in my life have.
5:25 - Begin to copy my notes onto my laptop for this “Mondays with Chad” Blog entry so I don’t have to do it all tonight.
5:55 - Get online to read the news and to check my email.
6:27 - Just started following Meghan McCain on Twitter. I think I would go Republican for her!
6:37 - Walking over to mom’s house.
6:50 - Played PS2 Transformers game with Isaiah for a few minutes but then he took full control of the game. I miss the days of Donkey Kong and Pac Man!
7:10 - Start watching Golden Girls. I admire Blanche. I hope I’m as active as her when I’m 60. God knows I’m more like Dorothy at the moment. I miss Bea Arthur… it still stings. Everyone is in the kitchen eating dinner… I’ve quickly become bored.
7:15 - Tell everyone I am leaving and walk back home.
7:35 - Just got a text from Meghan McCain, “Most intense thing I’ve done in a long time. Colbert was so incredibly nice and fun. Everyone watch!“ I’m going to have to find out what time the Colbert Report is on. I get another text from her saying, “I give the designer cc skye a plug and talk about my sex life…” I’m really loving Twitter!
7:50 - I’m feeling a little depressed. I’m still bothered by something. Just realized I haven’t heard back from Gene today. Wondering when the last time I talked to him was… I check my phone, I talked to him on Saturday and I got a text message from him yesterday at 1:43. It just seems longer. I hate the feeling that I am so separated sometimes. Thinking about going to the store to buy Jason a card.
8:10 - Head to Wal-Mart to buy Jason a card.
8:25 - Arrive at Wal-Mart and instantly find the card that I want to send. Decide to head to Nora’s house to hang out with her for a bit and to tell her about Dad.
8:45 - Stop by Casey’s to buy a Diet Mountain Dew since I know Nora will try to stuff a Pepsi down my throat.
8:50 - Arrive at Nora’s house but she isn’t home from work yet. Decide to hang out in the car a bit to catch up on this blog from my notes. Looking over at Nora’s sister’s house and see the door is opened. Nora’s kids are most likely over there… thinking about walking over.
8:58 - Ally (Nora’s sister) is yelling at me to come over… I obey.
9:15 - Tell Ally the story of how I allowed things to get unraveled in my life this past year. I don’t know why… I just felt like I needed to get some things out. It felt good breathing in the night air while we sat on her porch. Nora’s kids eventually make it outside to greet us.
9:30 - Nora arrives to pick up the kids and we walk across the street back to her place. I’m going to let her read my blog. She has to be at work at five in the morning so I’m going to head home in a bit. Might watch a episode of Family Guy before I leave.
9:43 - Jase (Nora’s younger sibling) is singing his “ABC’s” to me while I wait for Nora to get settled. He’s such a freak… gotta love him. She just looked at me. “It’s been a stressful day” is how she starts the conversation. OMG!!!! Nora and I have the next two days off so we are going to watch the American Idol finale together!!!! YES!!!!
10:00 - Family Guy comes on… it’s a bit of a retarded episode.
10:22 - Tell Nora that I am going home. We hug and I quickly sprint to the car.
10:40 - Arrive home and go to my bedroom. “Murder, She Wrote” is on the tele and I get into my bed.
10:50 - Thinking about tomorrow. Going to the Zoo with Isaiah and Elijah. I wonder what Jason is doing right now… I decide to text him, “Hope your okay… thinking about you.” Nano comes in and ask me the details about my Dad. I wish I was walking up the steps of a Mayan temple in Mexico. I have the sudden urge to go camping.
10:58 - The day is over… Golden Girls is about ready to come on. Just turned off my light… I most likely fall asleep watching the girls. I wonder what I will dream about tonight… Hopefully, Isaiah won’t be a evil dark Sith Lord! Goodnight.
　
　
　

THE GOSPEL OF CHOICE

Reaching the Kingdom of God and the grace of His love is possible by taking different paths. God reveals His face in many different forms to many different people. The result of this is different paths that lead to the same source. All paths lead to God and it’s the enlightenment of choice that takes us to His love.
The journey to the Kingdom of God begins with you. God lives within us all and His love radiates from our hands, our eyes, our feet, our heads, and our hearts. It is our responsibility and our choice to train our spirits and our physical bodies to radiate the truth of God’s love and the values of His grace. Our purpose in life is to find our own path and establish the truths of His will. We can look in the mirror at the reflection of our physical form but we must look deeper to find the reflection of our spiritual selves. In that truth we must imitate the values of morals and truth. Within our spirit are seeds of enlightenment and it is our responsibility and our choice to water these seeds and watch them develop and blossom into our own spiritual growth. When we adopt the values and morals of God’s love into our own spiritual realm then those values are expressed through our physical encounters. In response to these physical encounters we implant seeds of enlightenment in other individuals. The path to God’s love is a journey that is shared by all individuals even if those paths are different from each other.
Meditation and prayer are not the only tools to reach spiritual enlightenment. Keeping our bodies clean from earthy desires is another tool. If we take in poisons then our bodies will suffer and therefore our spirit will suffer. Our bodies are temples and we should respect and love ourselves as we respect and love our own mothers and fathers. If we take in poisons then we can only expect to give out poisons. Just as we can implant seeds of enlightenment we can also implant seeds of doubt and frustrations. We are all gems that skip across the waters of choice and therefore there are always ripple affects that result in every action we choose to commit.
God is inside of you. God is inside the church. God is inside a blade of grass. You can find God is the birth, life, and death of Jesus Christ and you can find God in the birth, life, and death of Mohammed. Whenever or wherever you begin your search for God; you will find Him. I call him God but you may call Him Allah. A man may call Him nature while a woman may call Him a Goddess. One might call Him divinity while another calls Him Universal Law. God is here, He is everywhere and when you search for Him, you will find Him. God is the conscience of this Earth and He is the conscience of Heaven. We are the waters that flow and He is the river that holds us all together. God is American. He is Iranian. He is Korean. He is Canadian. God is all these things and everything. God transcends sexuality. He lives in both the heterosexual man and the homosexual man and therefore both should be honored and respected. God is all these things and everything. God is white. God is Asian. God is black. God transcends all color therefore all races of men should be honored and respected. God is all these things and everything. Everything in life is connected because everything in life is connected to God. Without our connection to God we are alone in the darkness of nothing. Each of us share our inner light with God and it’s that light that shines down on all creation. Bless are those who understand these words and uses them for spiritual growth and always remember that the Kingdom of God is inside of you.
The world has fallen into chaos and we have forgotten that God’s love is what unites brothers and sisters; husbands and wives; and mothers and fathers. We have forgotten that God’s love is what bonds a marriage, our relationships with our neighbors, our domestic partnerships with our lovers and most importantly we have forgotten that God’s love is inside of each individual. We are connected to each other as we are connected to a man that lives in the dessert plains of Ethiopia. The Ethiopian is as much connected to you just as your connected to your own mother. Both connections are strong and therefore should be honored and respected because it is in God’s love that these connections are binding. In chaos, some have forgotten our connection with God and in replace of that memory there are those that have sowed seeds of anger, distrust, and confusion. These things have sprouted throughout the many societies of our planet. Beware of those who plant seeds of doubt and frustration for they are like weeds in your garden of spirituality. We must turn away from those that plant these seeds for it’s only when we return to the source of God’s love that we plant our seeds of enlightenment. Confusion and distrust are raging a war against spiritual growth and we must make certain that we clear our minds of all confusion and mistrust and meditate and pray on God’s love.
Free Will has always been God’s Way. Embracing His love and respecting everything around you is your choice. Your path is your own and the journey to enlightenment is your own. This is what God wants of you, to choose to follow Him in His Love.
　

THE (S)ilence (O)f (F)allen (A)ngels

Darkness was falling outside the windows as the wide-screen television chimed with a breaking news announcement. A woman with firm lips and a purple business suit began speaking with great urgency. “Another child has gone missing tonight and authorities are fearing the worst. Ten year old Gene Wolske was last seen playing…” The television crackled as the tall man entered the living room and switched the power off with his remote control in hand. He turned around to face another ten year old boy, Jason Casteel.
Jason had more boyish charm than most boys his age and he was able to bring laughter to those who needed it the most. He had the ability to walk into a room and use his charisma to woe everyone around him. The nurses at St Jude’s Children’s Hospital nicknamed him “Angel” for his ability to lift spirits. A muscular disease had left him bound to a wheelchair but his strong arms made up for his weakened legs. Jason had a determination to do everything that other boys lacking a handicap could do. His eyes told the story of his ability to strive while his smile penetrated the souls of even the coldest of hearts.
Jason’s blue eyes looked up towards the tall man who now stood in front of the aging television set. The tall man returned Jason’s stare by approaching him and lifting the fragile looking boy out of his wheelchair and placing him on a small leather and swayed sofa that was covered with brown checkered pillows. Jason was uncomfortable and immediately spoke out. “I want to go back to the playground, please take me back! I want to be with my friends!” Jason’s voice echoed with the longing of being back at the school playground. “I promise, I’ll do anything you want if you let me go back!”
The tall man face frowned with sternness as he replied, “Little boy, you will not see the playground tonight. We have other plans.” He left young Jason alone in the darkening room. Jason could hear items being moved around from the area of the house that the tall man had entered. His mind began to create images of flesh being ripped from muscle as what sounded like a blade sliced through the skin of what could have been another victim in this ever darkening house.
Jason tried to scoot himself out of the sofa. He reached out to his wheelchair but he could hear the tall man’s footsteps growing ever closer to him. He quickly was able to grab an item that was tucked underneath his cushioned seat and just has he laid back into the sofa the tall man reentered with a plate in his hands. “I want you to eat this and I want you to eat every bite.” The tall man placed the plate upon the boy’s lap and Jason saw what looked to be chunks of brainy meat piled on his plate.
“I don’t want any of this. I don’t want it!” Jason cried out as his heart began to race in his small chest. “I want to go back to the playground! I want my mommy!”
“Well, your mommy isn’t here and your going to eat every bite or the sofa that you set on will eat you.” The tall man had a hint of glimmer in his eye and a wicked smile.
“What?” Jason looked up in astonishment! “How could this sofa eat me? Sofas don’t eat people! That’s impossible!”
A satisfying grin appeared on the tall man’s face as he sat himself down in front of Jason and he started tot tell the young boy a story of another ten year old boy just like him. “Once there was a boy who refused to eat the food on his plate. He was being a bad little boy and he refused to do anything his parents wanted him to do so he pouted his way out of the kitchen and onto the very sofa that you set upon right now. You see… this little boy was a good kid but he had his days that he threw his tantrums. I guess the sofa was tired of hearing it. For the moment that little boy sat down on that sofa the cushions came to life and began to gobble up the boy. His parents could hear his screams from the other room but by the time they came into the room there was no trace of him. The sofa had eaten him completely and left not one drop. It just so happens that after the boy disappeared; the family moved away and I ended up buying that sofa… which is the sofa that you are now sitting on.”
For a few moments there was silence and then the tall man began a loud laugh that stirred Jason to grab the object he had taken from his wheelchair; and just like he had done to Gene Wolske earlier in the day for not picking him to be on his baseball team, Jason ripped the knife across the tall man’s throat as he watched blood spill over his clothes.
The tall man jerked backwards and fell flat on the floor grasping for a voice that he no longer had. His voice box had been ripped open and nothing, not even his screams could be heard. The look of shock appeared on the tall man’s face as the sound of blood gurgling in his mouth began to drown him. His body went into convulsions as Jason sat on the sofa with the single blade in his hands looking down at the tall man with no ending patience. A smile appeared on his face as the room went completely silent.
Jason pushed himself back into his wheelchair and carefully placed the blade back into his cushioned seat and quietly rolled himself away from the pool of blood that surrounded the tall man’s dead body. He looked back toward the body and smirked, “You should have let me stay at the playground.” He thought of the lame story the tall man told him as he reviewed the bloody mess that engulfed the room. “I wish I had a sofa like the one in your story, but I don’t believe in fairy tales, Daddy.”

Chad's Note: I was in a writing group and we had one hour to write a story about a killer sofa... so this is what I came up with... I twinked it a bit since then but it's something that I thought you would enjoy reading.

THE LORD, THE LION: END EMBRACED

Apples fallen from the Tree of Knowledge stain the fabric of our reality
And in an instant the remains of us succumb to our own brutality.
The Gospel closes as the silence between us leaves nothing to say
And knowing that this time might last till the end of day.
An angel comes with tidings of good will and memories of old
And my reception of Him on this night is so cold.
“Fear not, for your love for him still endures even now” cries the angel
And I mock and turn away from his self proclaimed evangel.
Have I been bitten by that snake, that clever little beast, for I grow so tired
And I find that my thoughts of not caring for him are often admired.
Then the night I listened to “when somebody you’re so devoted to suddenly just stops loving you”
And I really began to realize that these moments perhaps will be our final adieu.
I turn back to the Angel and embrace him with my dying light, begging him for grace
And he takes me and fills me with memories of music and I’m lifted from this place.
The day is coming where we will go our separate ways because of a choice that could not be made.
And the angel whispered private things, and from my heart I took out the snake with his blade.

EVEN COWBOYS GET THE BLUES

I woke up Friday morning, still reeling from the terrible interview I had at Wells Fargo for a position that I had been campaigning for over the last few weeks. I was still feeling dishearten over the awkwardness from the very start of the telephone interview and at this point could still not totally comprehend how it had gone so bad and simply just fall apart in less than eight minutes.
My thought process still hoped that I was still in the running but realistically speaking: Hope was dead and there was no way in hell that I was getting this position. So I had a friend stay the night Thursday to get my mind off of things and after I dropped him off Friday morning I decided to get some coffee and breakfast at the Road Ranger on my way to work. I was content on enjoying my Friday when I reached the counter to pay for my coffee and breakfast. I handed the lady my debit card to pay for my items and she kindly smiled. I watched as she ran my debit card through the machine and then watched again as she ran the card for a second time. She looked back at me with her kind smile and simply said, “I’m sorry but your card has been declined due to insufficient funds.” Suddenly, in my mind this kind smile had turn into a nervous, pathetic grin. I, of course, trying to save face simply returned her statement by saying, “There must be some mistake, I have to call my bank.” I turned and walked out of the Road Rancher soaked with embarrassment.
I got to work still not understanding what was going on with my bank account. I quickly turned on my computer and sat down to open my online account. I typed my password in and my account appeared on screen. I expected to see about 300 dollars in my checking account but instead I saw that my account was actually 1,000 in the red. “Oh fuck!” was the only thing that could come out of my lips as I saw charges on my account that I had not made…
Wal-Mart 173.04
Wal-Mart 239.16
Meijer 139.96
Meijer 238.05
Then there were pending items that still had not come thru… in total we were looking at more than 1,300 dollars in theft! My checkbook had been stolen and I hadn’t even realized it.
So here is the situation as it stands right now. I spent the rest of Friday morning at the police station telling them what had happened and trying to retrace my steps on when the last time I had used my checkbook which was about a week before. I usually only write checks for rent and power, I use my debit card on everything else so I’m surprised my bank didn’t see this as a red flag when about seven checks had been written under a 24 hour period. My account has been closed and my funds have been frozen. My funds will be frozen anywhere from three to ten days as they determine the damage done by this individual. I had to order a new debit card and new checks for the new account that I had to open since my old account was no longer my own.
And on top of all of this… my Palm which also serves as my phone went black Friday afternoon and didn’t work for almost 24 hours. I’m grinding my teeth again… so I’m going to go out and get a drink. Thanks world for kicking my ass for this cowboy has the blues!!!!

AN IRONIC CIVIL MOMENT

So... let's talk about irony. The African American Community has been the "poster child" for the civil rights movement in this nation. They have experience the worst of human nature and sacrafice with slavery being a deep scar on the fabric of American History. They stood united together through the 1960's as they marched through the streets led by Dr. King's idealogy. They hold tight to the lessons of Rosa Parks. They didn't forget the race riot that took place right here in Springfield, Illinois that led to the formation of the NAACP. They have fought long and hard for equality and an enormous step was taken on November 4, 2008 when Barack Obama, the first African American became President-Elect. It was a moment that the world would never forget. The pride of this achievement was a direct result from the work of Dr. King more than 40 years ago.Something else happened on November 4, 2008 as well. A resolution, simply named Proposition 8, passed by just a few percentage points in the state of California. Prop. 8 banned gay marriage. Why did Proposition 8 pass after the state Supreme Court legalized Gay Marriage earlier in the year? Because African Americans came out in strong numbers for Barack Obama. Traditional Black Churches came out in huge numbers and many feel that this group of voters made the difference for Proposition 8. The irony here is how the Black Community, in a hour of triumph in their civil rights movement, striked down an achievement by another minority group that has also experience it's own journey in the civil rights movement. These Black Churches cry out for understanding and acceptance in society when they themselves also cast the stones of judgement. So what can I say to this group? All I can say is that I respect and honor your history. I feel heartache and pain for the journey you have taken on this long road of equality. Above all else... I forgive you for not understanding my own. Sometimes we fight so hard for ourselves that we simply forget that their are others that do suffer. I am different from you but I also realize that you are my brothers in humanity. Yes, we have our differences but when we meet in the middle, we might find that we have alot more in common. Education about each other is the key... sometimes it's a different perspective that allows us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our day is coming... and I hope that after some new perspectives and understanding about each other that when that day comes... these Black Churches will stand with me in triumph as I stood with them when Barack Obama became our President.

JESUS AND JUDAS: CHURCH AND STATE

Judas Iscariot loved Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ loved Judas Iscariot. Even after Judas’ grand betrayal, Jesus still loved him. It is this simple truth that should be the foundation of the Christian faith: compassion, charity, friendship, family and above all else… love and understanding. Two thousand years later, Christianity seems to be in decline, congregations seem to be shrinking, and there is a lack of individuals choosing to become ministers and priest. The true message of Christ has been marred with layers of biased interpretation to suite the extreme right wing political agenda in this country.
From a political standpoint, any individual who becomes polarizing is endangered of becoming unelectable. It is the individual who can meet in the moderate middle that is always the victor of any election, they are the ones able to persuade the independents and the moderates. This same political rule can be applied to Christianity.
In the past few decades, Christianity has continued to push itself into the political field taking extreme positions on a number of political social issues ranging from abortion to homosexuality. If Christians continue to take such polarizing stances in the political arena, then they are endanger of isolating themselves and further damaging the true message of Christ. This continued push into politics has ranged from subtle comments from respected evangelists to unchecked hate speech from so-called Christians that borderline cult activities. For example, let’s use the gay civil right’s movement as a political issue that Christianity has refused to budge or change it’s political views upon.
Gay marriage has been on the forefront of political field in the past few years. Just to name a few, states like Vermont, Massachusetts, Iowa, and New Jersey have already passed civil unions or approved gay marriage with more states likely to follow. Proposition 8 in California which defines a marriage between a man and a woman became the latest political battle during the 2008 General Election. Prop. 8 passed by just a few percentage points but it displayed the changing social view on homosexuality. More people are tolerating and/or embracing gays and lesbians has equal partners in our society and this changing view has left Christianity holding onto a dying agenda.
Pat Robertson, a Christian evangelist once said that the September 11th attacks happened because of the gays and lesbians. He has continued to predict a number of horrific national disasters due to America’s embrace of so-called immoral individuals. He has later retracted some of his statements but the damage has already been committed. Fred Phelps, the pastor of Westboro Baptist Church has continued his “God Hates Fags” campaign by protesting at the funerals of fallen soldiers. These stories have continued to grab the media’s attention and church leaders have neglected to confront them in the public forefront. If Christian evangels do not come together and clarify it’s positions and amend them with the help of human equality and freedom then they will continue to be painted by the thoughts of Pat Robertson and the dangerous hate speech of Fred Phelps.
The salvation of the Christian political movement might be in the hands of Joel Osteen, pastor of the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. He has continued to focus on God’s love for all individuals and has left behind the portrait of a vengeful and spiteful God that many evangelist have portrayed in the past. On a recent interview with CNN’s Larry King it seemed that Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria continued to state that marriage should be between a man and a woman and that this was “God’s best” but recognized that there were other families that were developing and that they might not fit that criteria of a marriage between a man and a woman. The more important part of Osteen’s interview was the lack of judgment against the gay political movement. This type of speech might set the tone for open dialogue between the two political factions. Joel Osteen has shifted the tone of Pat Robertson… focusing more on the compassion and love of Christ’s life and leaving behind the fear and judgment of the past Christian political agenda.
Can the Christian faith begin to shift their political agenda to the middle? Will they begin to recapture the hearts and minds of those who believe in equality and rightful freedom for all? I think if Jesus Christ was walking among us today he would be standing here holding Judas Iscariot‘s hand. He would glance over to him and smile and then say, “With Love and Compassion, anything is possible.”