THE TAIL OF MY OWN KITE

Gene...
So here is the letter I promised I would write today...
So my doubts about moving to Springfield started several weeks ago and have been growing ever since. You might remember that I had one bad night about my feelings on moving when I called you a couple of weeks ago about money and etc... well those feelings still lingered in me for the most part even though I would keep them from the surface. I have several reasons why I've chosen to stay here for now. So here they are:
1.) Money... I have enough to move in and barely nothing beyond that. I have 300.00 to my name at the moment. 250 would have gone to rent leaving me 50.00 to move my things and buy groceries and other items I will need over the next couple of weeks. I have a 400.00 phone bill that I need to get paid off by the end of the month since we no longer have a family plan and I really don't want to lose my phone. I have yet to line up a job and the threat that I would not be able to make rent at the end of the month would loom until a position would come open. I really do not want to deal with the stress from the lack of not having a job. The job issue wouldn't be such a big thing if I had more money put back to live on but I don't.
2.) One of the main reasons I wanted to move was because of you. The thought of seeing you everyday thrilled me and the simple fact that your independent and standing on your own two feet appeals to me so that I, for once would not have to worry about someone else. However the downfall to this is I was also looking forward to "partying" with you and going out with you. I feel that this is the main reason why I wanted to move back and I think this is wrong. I should be moving back for myself, not for someone else... even if that someone else is you.
3.) I am not 100% sure that I will stay drug free if I'm living in Springfield. Granted, I'm sure I wouldn't do anything stupid with you but I do wonder if that door opens... Would I walk through it? I am not sure if I could say "NO" if I ran into the White Horse or anyone else that might be an influence. I feel that I am able to hold my own at the moment but I still cannot say for sure that I could rebute anything coming my way. I'm getting there and I know for a fact that my resistence to these negitive things is alot better than it was a couple of months ago but I still think I need more time to get to that place where I can fully trust myself.
4.) I am clearly getting heathlier where I'm at now. I've lost over 25 pounds since joing Weight Watchers and mentally, I feel fantastic. I'm able to think more clearly and I feel like my emotions are no longer getting the best of me. I do not want to take any steps backwards and I feel that, that could be a possiblity if I leave now. I still have alot to accomplish and things that I want to do to get my body and mind where it needs to be.
5.) My family is chaotic and disfunctional but I also like being with them right now. They seriously get my mind off things and I do enjoy seeing the kids more often than I did during this previous year. I think they are also helping me realize who I am and that I have been living in the shadows of my true self for too long.
I don't know where I want to go, and I don't know where the future is going to take me but the many doors of possibilities are still ahead of me and they could take me anywhere. I'm becoming more focused and more determined to become something more, something different. So when I decide to move forward from where I'm at right now, I will do it with responsiblity, resources, and knowing that I will be able to stand on my own without the doubts that frustrate me.
In the influenced of your beloved Tori... I will not hold on to the tail of my own kite.

ON THIS SIDE OF OCTOBER

The pain started on a early October morning. Darkness was still desperately trying to hold onto the morning sky when I awoke and found myself gently rubbing the side of my mouth. There was a slight pain that really didn’t hurt but it was noticeable and it was a cause for alarm. I stuck my finger into the back part of my mouth and rubbed against my gum. The entire bottom part of my jaw felt like jelly. I knew what this meant; my final wisdom tooth was preparing to break through my gum and show itself. I had gone through this ordeal before and I was not looking forward to the pain that I knew would continue to get worst. Over the next several days I couldn’t stop picking at the tender area in my mouth. The pain was obviously becoming more acute and without the benefits of health insurance I knew I wasn’t going to be able to have it removed any time soon. I would have to wait this one out.
The days went by and the pain was becoming worst. It actually got to the point where I wasn’t even able to concentrate enough to read a simple book. A constant headache had developed that was pounding the right side of my face. At first, I would have these pounding episodes for a couple of hours, three to four times a day. However, as time went by, I would wake up with these pounding headaches and they wouldn’t let up until the moment I fell into unconsciousness. Sleep was something that was becoming more difficult to obtain. It would take me a couple of hours to get to sleep after hitting my bed and I would wake up several times throughout the night from the pain.
In a matter of three days after the constant pain had started, I had gone through an entire bottle of aspirin. I was popping the pills like candy throughout the day and didn’t even realize how many I had taken. The only thing that mattered to me during these days was numbness. I didn’t want to feel anything; the only desire I had was to be numb. I was lucky enough to have a couple of connections and I was able to obtain Vicodin. I know that I would take the Vicodin at least four to five times a day but sometimes I would double up on the dosage. I would sustain myself on this through Christmas which is about the time I started to take some other nerve/anxiety pills that I’m still not sure what the name of the other pills I was taking at the time. It was usually random things that I would find or people would give me.
The latter part of the year I had found myself heading for depression. When the toothache had started in October, I had already found myself having severe mood swings and constant tiredness. It was getting harder for me to get up in the morning and it took so much energy just to get the strength up to take a shower. I’m still not sure what caused this depression, I think it was a number of things like loneliness, stress from work and finances, my relationships with friends and family, my lack of direction in life, my loss of purpose. I personally felt that I hadn’t accomplished enough in my life to be worthy of anything. The toothache exasperated all of these problems and I got to the point where I just didn’t want to handle anything anymore. I have never thought about suicide but it’s clear to me now how some people could take that path without even realizing how they got there. I never thought I would be addicted to drugs but here I was grasping at every pill I could get my hand on.
I had smoked weed only a hand full of times in my life. It never really appealed to me like it did with a lot of my friends in high school and college. However, at this period of my life where it seemed to me that I had failed as a person; I found weed to be a comforting salvation. I don’t know why I have always been hard myself but the attitude I’ve had about myself might have done a lot more damage then I could have possibly imagined. My toothache had long been gone but I constantly wanted to find myself dwelling in the numbness of nothingness. If I didn’t feel, then I knew that I wouldn’t hurt. Smoking weed took care of that for me.
Something happened the following February that took me further into the direction of this pill-induced culture that had become my life. I had started sleeping with a guy that was a slave to Queen Tina. I admired him on so many levels; on the way he was so comfortable with himself; his confidence on who he was; the successes he had professionally and romantically. He came into my life during a period where I felt so isolated from everybody and everything and I thought of him as a savior. This White Horse had a dark side to his character that I didn’t want to face as well. He was already in a relationship with another individual and they had been together for more than a decade. I knew that he would not break things off with this other guy, leaving me to be nothing more than his dish on the side. I was constantly watching him snort coke in his car, at the club, in his home and in his bed. At some point during one of our drunken nights at the bar, in a dirty bathroom I took my first snort of cocaine. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do or that I planned to do but it happened, and it happened again… and again… and again… I would dwell in the afterglow of the coke that sometimes would last a couple days at a time. I was on top of the world and then I would be down again so the cycle would restart. I found myself going to work high like this and it kept me in a constant, stable mood until it wore off. Everything was becoming more and more of an roller coaster ride; every detail of my life was a roller coaster and I wasn’t quite sure how, or if, I wanted to get off.
April found me becoming more isolated from most of the people in my life. I was constantly fighting with my roommate, I would go days at a time without having any contact with my family and I had just stopped hanging out with most of the friends that I had in my life. I would get high before going into work and afterwards I would walk uptown to a bar to have a few drinks. I also found myself crying a lot over the smallest of things. I cried a lot those days without any reason or logic. I just found myself dwelling in sadness all the time.
I’m not sure how the realization came to me that I was not suppose to be in this position but I think it had a lot to do with everything that was building up inside of me. I was so angry that I had given up on everything in my life. I couldn’t understand why I chose to give up. So I called the one person that I could rely on, even if I didn’t want to hear her advice she would know what to do. I told my mother everything that was going on and that I didn’t know what to do. She urged me to go to rehab but I was too ashamed to check myself into any facility and even if I wanted too, I didn’t have health insurance that would cover it. So, I did the next best thing and I left my life behind and moved back home.
It took weeks for the need to take pills, snort coke, and smoke weed to go away. There were days that I just sat in my bed thinking about how I could get high and how I wanted to pick up the phone and just call someone to bring me something. However, even with the urges tugging at me I resisted the notion. I was better than this, I took this negative energy and I turn it into something useful like exercising and eating healthy. By the end of June I had dropped twenty pounds and I found myself enjoying the person I was. I felt for the first time in a couple of years that I had direction again and that I could stand on my own two feet and be proud of who I was.
My journey in this life isn’t the one that I planned for myself but I claim it has my own. I don’t believe in mistakes and I don‘t have any regrets about anything I have done in my life, I just believe in situations and experiences that make you the person that you are today. I have not always chosen to take the path of virtue but I chosen to at least take a path which as lead me here. To anybody that is out there, reading this, be strong in who you are, put value in your character, and always know that it’s okay to go home again.
　　

IN THE REFLECTION OF MY MIND'S EYE

Al Gore / Angelina Jolie / Brad Pitt / Drew Barrymore / Aliens / Dolly Parton / Bobby Kennedy / Hillary Clinton / Bill Clinton / Mariah Carey / Harvey Milk / Star Trek / Martin Luther King Jr. / The Democratic Party / The View / RENT / Meryl Streep / John Kennedy / Stewie Griffin / The Green Party / Anderson Cooper / Don Lemon / Tina Fey / Saturday Night Live / Politics / Vampires / Alanis Morissette / God / Barack Obama / Unitarian Universalism / gay bars / The Mormon Church / Sex / Africa / Gone with the Wind / Facebook / Grey’s Anatomy / The Drudge Report / Law & Order: Special Victims Unit / Kids Incorporated / weed / Jesus Christ / The Dali Lama / Porn / Meatloaf / The color red / The Facts of Life / Friends / AIDS / S&M / Hairspray / CNN / Madonna / Meghan McCain / Elizabeth Dole / Human Rights / P!nk / Smurfs / Rwanda / Rainy days / Geeks / Roseanne / underwear / 30 Rock / Ellen DeGenerous / Heroes / Donna Martin / Optimus Prime / New York City / Neil Patrick Harris / Reba / Gospel / Mary Magdalene / Freddy Krueger / Scooby Doo / Kate Winslet / The Beatles / The United Nations / Kylie Minegue / masturbation / deaf culture / The One Campaign / Peace Corps / Michael Myers / Johnny Depp / Lindsay Lohan / Flowers in the Attic / Andrew Bird / Matthew Sheppard / An Inconvenient Truth / The Golden Girls / Transformers / the Alamo / San Antonio / India / Cher / Harry Potter / Blood & Gold / The DaVinci Code / writing / Let It Be / threesomes / dogs / calico cats / kids / energy saving bulbs / plants / zoos / Gorillas in the Mist / Britney Spears / Molly Ringwald / The Breakfast Club / High School / Darlene / The 80’s / World War 2 / Arrested Development / Dirty Dancing / Cancer / poetry / Ghostbusters / Signourney Weaver / Chelsea Lately / Dean Koontz / John Saul / The Stand / Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil / Texas / Springfield / St. Louis Cardinals / Chicago / Tori Spelling / Cry Baby / Lifetime / my laptop / Palm / kissing / Nancy Reagan / Thundercats / E.T. / Chelsea Clinton / Caroline Kennedy / Fraggle Rock / Hollywood / Amy Grant / The Judds / Earth / The Garden of Eden / Charlotte’s Web / Guys / Jimmy Carter / Tibet / San Francisco / Macaroni and cheese / chocolate / World Trade Center / Bridget Jones / St. Louis Blues / Animal Planet / Time / Weddings / rings / family / friends/ and me…

THE SCARECROW OF LARAMIE LANE

Homo, pervert, disgusting, fudge packer, mama’s boy, cocksucker, queer, abomination, unchristian, immoral, friend of Dorothy, threat to my marriage, threat to my family, butt fucker, sinful, gross, girly girl, man whore, Mary, dirty fuck, ungodly, Elton John loving faggot are just some of the words that people have chosen to classify the gay subculture.
I have never fully understood why there is so much hatred and fear towards the gay community. Looking to history, any person can discover that their have been individuals that have pushed their agenda and propaganda onto society to create a state of ignorance and fear. The Jews, homosexuals, and the mentally handicap experienced this during the German occupation of Europe and they suffered dearly for it. Most recently, hatred has exploded in places like Rwanda, Bosnia, and the Darfur region of Sudan. All of these examples had minorities that were deeply hated mostly due to ignorant political reasons and in some cases they were almost eradicated simply because of hatred and fear.
Now I’m not comparing the suppression of the gays in the United States to the genocide in Rwanda and I don’t believe that we are heading into that direction, however there has been thousands of isolated cases of hate towards individuals in the United States. The only way we are going to prevent these isolated acts is through education and learning more about each other as human beings.
One of the most notable cases in the United States is that of Matthew Shepard. Matthew was a political science major at the University of Wyoming in the small college town of Laramie. He made the decision one night to take a ride with two guys who had pretended to be gay and they preceded to rob him and beat him severely. It is believed that they used words of hate towards Matthew and they beat him because of the perceived threat of his sexuality. They then left him hanging on a lonely fence like a broken scarecrow. Matthew hung there for more than eighteen hours, his face covered in blood except for the trail of tears that had fallen from his eyes. Matthew died a few days later due to the injuries he suffered.
In response to his very tragic death, Matthew’s mother, Judy Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation in support of education and understanding of the gay culture. It was her hope, that through education, hate crimes would end and laws protecting gays and lesbians would be enacted by the federal government. I sat in the audience of one of her speeches that she gave years after the events that unfolded in Laramie. She recalled in detail the news of Matthew’s injuries and the ordeal her family suffered during days and years that followed. Her speech profoundly changed my life and I swore to myself that I would live to see the day that these horrible acts of hate would end.
Education is the key that will unlock that pathway towards equality for the United States. America is the beacon of hope, equality, democracy, and freedom for all individuals and it’s time that we start living up to that beacon. The ideal belief that all men are created equal and that we all have the right to the pursuit of happiness is the core of our society. I urge each and everyone of you to go out and learn about another individual that might just be a little different from yourself. I think you might discover that we have a lot of similar thoughts and ideals and you might be lucky enough to have a connection that could last a lifetime.

ONE TRUE FACT

Can somebody tell me if “sectarian violence” is the new politically correct term for genocide? Perhaps this term is more polite and it helps us to separate ourselves from the massacres that are taking place in and around the city of Baghdad. I can’t help but notice the thousands of bodies that are turning up in the months since Iraq’s democratic elections. Body after body, victim after victim, person after person; all of these individuals are being murdered one by one. Perhaps it is easier for us to label these massacres as sectarian violence, rather than list the names of each human being that is being taken by these acts of hate. I recall how the world ignored the genocide that took place in Rwanda where nearly a million people were slaughtered during the Hutus Vs Tutsi disaster. I see the world reacting the same way to this same script, different cast, that features Iraq and the Sunnis Vs Shiites massacre. While the Bush administration fuzzes over the language that defies this Iraqi Genocide, more and more people are dying. The Bush administration is clearly failing in it’s objectives for Iraq; they are failing our troops; they are failing the Iraqi people and worst of all they are unable to cope with the issues of genocide. They stand around debating the definitions of words so they choose to close their eyes and embrace the lackluster term of sectarian violence rather than to face up to the fact that violent death and genocide is embracing so many human lives. Genocide is Genocide and that is one true fact!

THE INSANITY OF BABE RUTH

Mom and I had gone in on some tickets so we could enjoy our national pastime at least once this upcoming summer. Our home team, the St. Louis Cardinals were facing off with the Arizona Diamondbacks so we all figured it would be a easy victory for the Cardinals. We decided we would take grandpa for his birthday and my four year old nephew, Isaiah. This would be his first ballgame; he was extremely excited about it and had been informing everyone that he was going to see some baseball.
The morning of the ballgame, I got a bit of a surprise. Mom and my grandmother, Nano decided to take a last minute trip to Florida that very day so Mom would not be coming along with us. I was furious with her; this entire baseball trip had been her idea and she was ditching us at the last moment. It wasn’t typical of her to do something like this which confused the hell out of me since she wouldn’t explain why she was leaving for Florida so sudden. She then told me that my brother, Cory and his wife, Julia would be taking her place. Then out of the blue, Terry, my mother’s husband walked into the room and announced that he wanted to go to the game as well. The confusion in my mind kept mounting as Terry hated baseball and he especially hated the St. Louis Cardinals.
Mom and Nano then rushed out of the house without even saying goodbye. I was literally pissed on how they had been acting and I turned around on Terry and asked him what the hell was going on and all he could say is that he was ready for some baseball, a clear mimic of my nephew. I rolled my eyes and stormed out the door yelling at everyone to get into the van. This entire morning had been nothing but bullshit and all I wanted to do was to go back home and leave all of this chaos behind me. The only thing that stopped me from just leaving was the excitement in Isaiah’s eyes and how ready he was to embrace baseball.
Everyone got loaded up in the van as I got behind the wheel while Julia climbed into the front passenger seat with my other 3 year old nephew, Elijah. I asked her what she was doing with Elijah and why he wasn’t in a car seat. She replied by saying there wasn’t enough room so he would have to set in her lap. I could immediately feel my blood begin to boil. Not only was this plain stupidity on Julia’s part but it was also against the law and there was no way in hell I was driving while my nephew was in clear danger of being hurt along with my possible arrest and conviction of child endangerment.
Terry then stepped in and said he would drive and if I didn’t like the circumstances then I could stay at home. I couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening at this moment. Terry was clearly pissed about something and my fear was that my mother had decided to leave him and our family. I didn’t say anything to him and made my way into the back of the van taking Elijah with me. There was no way I was going to have him in the front seat with Julia where he could easily fly out the window. I buckled us both in the seatbelt and we were soon off to St. Louis.
Upon our arrival at the stadium I was shocked on the disarray the area seemed to have fallen into. They had begun remodeling Busch Stadium even though the stadium itself was only four years old. The area that our seats were in was the real kicker. They had taken down the guard rail along the front roll of seats on the second balcony where we were seated. There was only about three feet of walking space between our seats and a drop off of at least thirty feet. Julia and Cory were standing on the very edge with Isaiah and Elijah jumping up on them trying to get their attention. I screamed at both of them that the kids could easily fall and I grabbed them and placed them in their seats and told them both not to move. This entire ordeal was ridiculous! I then noticed that Terry, Cory, and grandpa were already drinking and it was just a matter of time before one of them plunged to their deaths. This day was going to end badly has it began.
They had built a playground on the side of the baseball field and Julia decided to take the boys to go play. I was relieved when she did this cause my eyes were constantly on them. My heart had been pounding in my head from the fear that one of them were going to fall. Terry, Cory, and Grandpa were already drunk off their asses. They were hugging each other and slurring their words in their vein attempt to communicate with me. They had also laid claim to the soft cushioned seats while I got stuck with a wooden bench at the end of the roll. I paid for half of the tickets and I got shelved with a wooden bench. This entire day was a big FUCK YOU CHAD!
My headache began to pound beyond believe as the first inning began. I laid down on the bench and closed my eyes for a moment to try and to collect my thoughts. Suddenly, I felt someone come up behind me on the bench. I opened my eyes and turn my head to see an handsome British man with a bit of nerdy quality about him. He looked at me with a hint of devilish glimmer in his eyes and asked if it was okay if he curled up behind me on the bench for he too had been through a long day. This whole experience was strange enough and I couldn’t grasp that this complete stranger wanted to lay down with me on a ballpark bench. I told him it was okay and I turned my head back towards the sixth inning. A short time later I felt the strangers arm wrap around my waist. My heart was pounding in my head again as this British stranger embraced me. I glanced up at the three drunken members of my family; they were all to involved in explaining the meaning of baseball to noticed the stranger spooning me.
Glancing back towards the field I realized that they had stopped the game in the middle of the ninth inning. I noticed three security guards chasing a small child into the middle of the field. In the horror of my realization I stumbled off of the bench and almost went over the edge. Isaiah had interrupted the game by running across the field towards home base. The three guards caught up with him and snatched the screaming boy up into their arms. In the corner of my eye I saw Julia come around the corner without Elijah. I screamed at the top of my lungs telling her that Isaiah had been accosted and asked her where her other son was. She simply replied by saying that she dropped them off at the playground and got some beer for everyone. I just stood there in disbelief as shock took a hold of my body.
Julia walked around me to join the drunken heralds as the three security guards came around the corner with Isaiah. Embarrassment began to dwell throughout the complexion of my face as the guard asked me if the kid belonged to me. I told them that I had never seen the kid in my entire life as Isaiah screamed out, “UNCLE CHAD!!!”. Damn, the child had blown my cover! I relented and took Isaiah in my arms as the officers began to scold me about leaving a child by himself on the playground. I looked back at my alcohol induced family as they were laughing about the whole situation. Anger began to build inside of me while I turned and looked down at the British stranger who was reaching out to me to join him on the bench. I silently laughed at myself at the thought of having a life with this man. I didn’t have time to deal with what this stranger wanted let alone the needs of myself. The officers continue to point out the irresponsibility of the circumstances when I noticed the game was over. The St. Louis Cardinals had lost by eight; a horrible lost at the end of this horrible day.
I couldn’t take anymore of it… my mother had abandoned us, the male members of this family were drunken lunatics, I had a handsome stranger who I would never be with, I had one missing child and another that had interrupted a national televised game, and I had three officers scolding me on the responsibilities of parenthood even though I am childless. I held on tighter to Isaiah and I closed my eyes and started to scream. I screamed with everything I had inside of myself and I released the building negative energy that had been building inside of me the entire day.
I opened my eyes and my bedroom ceiling was staring down at me. I looked to my left and the British stranger was replaced by the emptiness of my soft bed. The noise of the disappointed ballgame crowd was replaced by the silence of my bedroom. My loud drunken family was replaced by the pictures of them on my nightstand. The entire incident had been one long dream and I had fallen victim to the manipulation that all seemed so unreal to me at this point. I grabbed the remote control and turned on the television set and found a tennis game that I started to watch from the safety of my own bed.

THE INCLINATION OF RHETT BUTLER

The need for companionship is always constant in human nature just as the desire to mate is a constant goal of the male species. We think about sex more often than not and we spend hours on end imagining ways to satisfy the sexual driven hunger that lives within every male. As a single American male, I often find myself in positions where I can easily satisfy this sexual hunger without the complications of commitment and monogamy. I can honestly say that in the times of my life when I am single, I greatly enjoy the title and throw myself into all the aspects of single-hood.
Dinner and drinks with friends is a perk that I enjoy greatly as a single man. I met up with two buddies of mine one night at a local late night restaurant to talk the typical conversations of men that ranged from everything between politics to religion to the joy of sex. Gene and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant and were seated by a young, handsome waiter. As the waiter showed us to our table I couldn’t help but notice his ass that was complimented by the tight fitness of his black pants. I instantly had images of the things I wanted to do with that fine example of an ass and firmly made eye contact with him while he took our drink order. He had a boyish charisma that any waiter would want and would use to manipulate their customers to get that bigger anticipated tip. He had a constant smile as he took down our drink order and a slight sparkle in his eye. Instinctively, my eyes narrowed and followed the waiter’s firm ass as he walked away with our drink order.
Gene and I were soon joined by our third companion and we began to partake in our conversation, always with the thought of the waiter in the back of my mind and how badly I wanted to fuck him. He was a constant distraction for me throughout the entire night “Why don’t you ask for his telephone number?” my buddies asked. I couldn’t find myself to be so direct with a complete stranger but the need for sex had been building in me for a while. I had to figure out a way to get this guy back to my apartment. The occasional eye contact and smile was only driving my sex drive to an ecstatic peak. This is the best and worst part about being a guy, when an individual begins to think with his dick and not his head. I began to implement my plan using only the brilliance of my dick.
As our dinner came to an end and the conversation came full circle we prepared to pay our bill and depart ways for the night. After paying for my part of the bill using my debit card I took the receipt back to the table and took out a couple of dollars for his tip. Using his own pen that I had taken from the counter I wrote on the receipt, “My name is Chad… If you want the rest of your tip, you’ll have to earn it. Call me at blah blah blah.” I then left the restaurant with my buddies not having to deal with the awkwardness of trying to get him into bed and of course, the possible rejection of my advances.
My phone began to ring while I climbed the stairs to my downtown apartment. I answered without looking who the call was from and simply said “Hello.”
“Hi, is this Chad?”
“Yes”
“This is your waiter. I was calling to find out how I can earn the rest of my tip.” The smile quickly engulfed my face as I realized that I was going to get some tonight. “Well, I guess you will find out when you get off and come over to my apartment.” I gave him my address and he told me he would be over after he got off in another hour. That would place him at my place around 2:30 in the morning so it gave me enough time to pick up and to take a quick shower.
The doorbell rang as I calmly walked downstairs to answer his call. The door opened as I greeted the waiter with a smile and he kindly returned the same greeting. I lead him to the living room where I had two beers waiting and we began a conversation. We talked about college life and what we wanted to do with ourselves down the road. We talked about family and friends and how we got to this point in our lives. We shared funny stories, happy moments and a few sad memories and after a few hours worth of conversation there was a pause.
“So… how do I earn that tip?” he smiled at me and I slowly leaned towards him and began kissing him. His mouth was nice and my body quickly began to react to his warm scent. I pulled him close to me and he quickly responded by pulling my hip towards his. I removed his shirt and started to kiss his neck and chest; I wanted to ravage him completely. I pulled him off the couch as he wrapped his legs around my waist and I carried him into my room and had my way with him.
The sun was rising as we both laid there holding each other. The sum of our action had led us both to be quite satisfied and that ever present sexual hunger had subsided for the time being. Some time went by as we dwelled in the afterglow of our actions and then the waiter finally spoke. He had to get back to his dorm but he smiled and proudly proclaimed that he had a good time with me. I returned his compliment and told him the same thing while he put on his clothes. I walked him to the front door and kissed him one last time before he left. Watching him drive away I reflected on the time we spent together and a smile appeared on my face. I would have to call Gene later in the day and tell him of my encounter with our gentleman waiter. For the moment however, sleep was calling for me in the back of my mind and I obeyed my body’s intuition and collapsed back into my bed, closing my eyes, and letting my mind drift into dreams.