THE CIRCUS CLOWN: PART 2

The price of being horny and thinking only with your dick creates consequences that do send ripple affects throughout your lifetime. Who knew that one simple fuck would be heavy chains laid upon me for so long. I simply wanted to have sex with this guy and I brought him home to do that. I wanted to feel that release and then the next morning we would both go our separate ways. This Circus Clown was a sly mother fucker however and he somehow managed to rope me in for the most part over the next few years. He didn’t go home the next morning at all as he seemed to just dwell day in and day out in the confounds of my life.
I ignored the warning signs and there were many warning signs! Most of my friends didn’t like him and most of them thought he was self centered. I even thought he was self centered but I also thought his good qualities outweighed his bad ones. The few friends that were attracted to him were captured by his charisma and charm. He had a good nature feeling about him along with a welcoming smile and face. Excellent traits for a predator on the hunt! Those that were won over by him eventually saw him for who he really was and they warned me about what really lied beneath the clown’s makeup. My response to them was that I knew him more than most and I understood him more than most.
My response from my family was “what the hell…” Most of them saw him for an attention grabbing whore and the needs of the clown outweighed the needs of the many. The biggest issue that my family had against the clown was the amount of time he demanded from me. We would both attend holidays with both of our families but I found that over a period of time our visits to my family became less and less as more attention was focused on his family. During Christmas, we would spend a couple of hours, at the most, visiting my parents house as the rest of the day was devoted to his family. His family had a very different take on the type of person that I was… a couple of them embraced me while others treated me like a thorn. There were many times that some of his family members would make me feel very uncomfortable. Even though my family didn’t understand why I was with the Circus Clown at least they welcomed him into their home and treated them with respect. I can see how the Circus Clown was molded as a child to grow up into this class act. Through all of this I began to realize that there was absolutely no balance in this very unbalanced relationship.
For the most part, the Circus Clown didn’t work throughout our relationship and the financial burden of living feel on my shoulders. I found myself in arguments over this topic several times over the course of our relationship and at some point I just became to tired to fight on the same old topic day in and day out. To add insult to injury, the Circus Clown was dirty. Dishes were rarely done and the lack of housecleaning began to build up over time. I was working a fulltime job and would always be taking a couple of college classes during our time together and rarely would he find time throughout his day to keep our home clean. Dirty dishes would be left on the floor, he would get the desire to paint and leave all of his materials spread out on the floor for days if not weeks at a time. The trash would always be in a state of overflow that would generally spread throughout the kitchen floor. I would come home to this and see that this house represented the state of my life. Our house and my life were slowly falling apart.
There was a clear lack of respect in our relationship and especially for me. If any part of my life intruded on his plans then a fight would ensue. There was absolutely no compromise when it came to his ideology on how our night was going to go compared to how I wanted things to go. If I wanted to stay in and watch a movie on a Tuesday night and he wanted to go out with friends then we would fight until he got his way even though he knew I would have to work in the morning. I would then want to be back home by eleven only for it to get pushed till two. I eventually became the fool who allowed him to have his own way all the time without any regard to myself. I worked a Monday through Friday, seven to five job while the clown filled his days by hanging out with friends. He would bring home his audience throughout the night and several times we would have people showing up at our house in the early morning hours. The Circus Clown would entertain their every need all hours of the night while I laid in our bed unable to sleep from the music and clattering of the people downstairs. The stress that was brought by my lack of sleep only made our fights much worse.
That very first day when the Circus Clown didn’t go home after our little one night fuck, our relationship began to develop quite the poisonous atmosphere. As these poisons began to build up over a period of time it became harder for me to breath until one day everything exploded. The Circus Clown had called me at work and told me that he was spending the day cleaning the house, I recall that we had an argument the night before on how bad things were getting around the house and I wasn’t able to keep up with cleaning after him and his friends with my work schedule and classes. I got home that evening about eight o’clock and grabbed my books and work materials from the car. I walked into the house with my arms full to the Circus Clown screaming at the top of his lungs that I was walking on his still wet floor. I leaped to the staircase but the damage was already done. The clown went ballistic! All I heard from him was how I ruined his entire day and how he slaved to get our house clean. He just went on and on screaming while I put my things away up stairs. I came down to face him a few minutes later…
“Fuck You! I’m fucking done with you! I’m sick of your fucking mouth!” and with that I walked out the door and got into my car and drove off. I drove around town for about a hour to cool off and collect myself and when I got back the Circus Clown was packing a bag. He was going to stay with his family for a couple of days. We really didn’t say much of anything and he left and I went to bed. The next morning he called me at work and asked if it was okay if he came home to get his stuff, he was going to move back home. I told him I didn’t mean to indicate that he had to move out but he said he thought it was for the best. I didn’t argue his point because I knew he was right. I thought for a moment how it seemed that things were going to end quietly and I felt relief that it was finally coming to an end. How wrong I would be!
I got home that night and opened my front door to a disaster area. My house had been utterly rampaged. I had recently bought a 250 dollar cherry oak entertainment center for the living room and it was in 20 pieces all over the living room floor. Every cabinet in the kitchen was wide open and things were tossed around on the floor. Many of the rustic signs that I had collected were taken off the wall and scattered about. Every room in the house had been gone through, he took the things that were his and tossed things that were mine onto the floor. I started to cry… I couldn’t stop crying, it was the only thing left to do. I called Summer and asked her to come to the house and when she arrived she was in complete shock. She had befriended the Circus Clown and was one of the few who had been won over by his charisma and she couldn’t believe the disaster that he left our home in. We spent the next couple of hours picking up the pieces as I tried to determine how I was going to manage my life without the Circus Clown in it. I had lost my own identity and it was going to take all I had to find myself again.