THOSE THAT STILL WALK WITH US

When I look back upon my life there are individuals that have indirectly influenced it’s course. Some of these individuals have influenced me in a negative way while others in a more positive light. I feel it’s important to me to mention one particular positive light because he is the reason why I care so much about HIV/AIDS education and prevention. He opened my eyes to an entire atmosphere that I had been blinded too. He was the first to open the door to a world that wasn’t so perfect and the true reality that there was human suffering taking place throughout our planet. This suffering was something that I really hadn’t noticed as a child and in all honesty it’s a suffering that no child should have to bare. This was the beginning of me putting aside childish things as I jumped head fist into the reality of our world. It’s difficult for me to talk about this person because his life isn’t just a personal memory for me but for my mother and grandmother as well. Gary Leon Robinson Jr. was born in this earth and he was taken away from us much to soon. Though even more than a decade after his death, his presence always remains with me as I continue on my own life‘s journey.
The one thing that sticks out in my mind about Uncle Jr. is his charisma. He instantly would light up a room when he entered into it and most everyone was drawn to his personality. He had a great smile and a very youthful look in his eyes that just drew everyone in. He could tell jokes and laugh at just about anything and he was always loving and caring towards his small band of nephews that included me. He never hesitated in doing anything that he wanted to do and would often take off to places like California simply because he had the courage to attempt living out his dreams.
I don’t remember when I knew Uncle Jr. liked other guys., it was something that I always seemed to be aware of but I do remember my mother telling me that some people were different and it was okay to be different. Uncle Jr. was different in every single great way and their was absolutely no apology for it. The one thing I always felt encouraged by was that he could do anything and that was something that I wanted to be able to do myself.
I was around eleven years old when I found out Uncle Jr. was sick. I remember having a memory when I was younger when my mother and grandmother got upset that I had taken a drink of soda after him and they checked my mouth for any open cuts or sores. They didn’t fully understand at that point how HIV was transmitted and it scared them that there was this unknown about the disease at the time. I also remember them telling me that I should never use his toothbrush but it wasn’t until I was eleven where I was told how and why my uncle was sick. He was HIV positive and he had managed to catch the virus by drug use.
After learning these things about my uncle I threw myself into learning more about what HIV/AIDS actually was and how the disease affected those that had it. This also lead to my learning of how bad the situation was in Africa and the consequences of so many people being infected with the spread of this disease. This lead me into learning more about Africa and especially on the genocide that took place in Rwanda leaving what is estimated to be a million people murdered. An entire population has been ravaged by this disease as it continues to spread, especially among third world countries throughout the African continent.
In my early twenties I took upon myself to join AIDSwalk which is a organization that raises money for HIV/AIDS prevention and education. I would serve as the local chairman of AIDSwalk for two years as I dedicated myself to the cause of awareness. So many people ignore the fact that HIV is in our own backyards and unfortunately it’s been my experience that most people don’t take action against a disease that is unseen.
Uncle Jr. passed away thirteen years ago and I can still hear his laugh. He came home from California one January night and he passed away the following April with both my grandmother and my mother in the room. His last few days he remained mostly unconscious but moments before he died he woke up and smiled at my mother which would be his last goodbye. I had gone back to work the day he died because I was told he was going to get better. I remember my baby brother walking into the store and I somehow knew what had happened when he came in to tell me the news that Uncle Jr. had passed away. We drove up to the hospital to pick up my mother and grandmother who were both devastated by his death. I remember my grandmother insisting that there had been a mistake, that he couldn’t be gone. She kept insisting that the doctor was wrong. My heart was broken for her, for my mother, for our family. For the first time in my life I felt that our family was broken and I knew it would never be the way it was before his death. A valued member of our family was gone and his void would always remain with us.
I give Uncle Jr. credit for opening a door to me that otherwise I’m not sure that I would be aware or care about. My dedication to AIDS awareness, prevention, and education.; my study of Africa, the Genocide in Rwanda, and gay culture came from my learning experience with Uncle Jr. He had an unknown influence upon me and the many people that he touched during his lifetime and I know, that I will wake up tomorrow morning, feeling certain, that he is still walking with me through all the journeys of my life.