THE CIRCUS CLOWN: PART ONE

Loving someone who constantly expects more out of life is a big responsibility. Their constant search for a deeper purpose is an obligation and burden on those who choose to love these individuals. They are people who often times are lost in their journeys and their faith is usually nothing more than a passing fad. I once made the decision to love someone such as this and even though I do not regret our relationship, I often wonder what things would have been like, if I had not made the decision to date this circus clown just because I wanted a piece of ass.
I had known the circus clown for several years but some time had pass between us when I saw him one night at a local restaurant. I was having dinner with several buddies of mine while the circus clown sat a few booths down from my circle of friends with a lone stranger. They were clearly having dinner together as I glanced down towards him several times throughout the night. After a few hours of conversation, my friends were ready to head out to a bar and I noticed that the circus clown’s date had long since left as he sat quietly in his booth, alone in his thoughts.
I quickly stopped by the clown’s booth and said hi even as my friends were nagging me to come along with them. I smiled, and told the circus clown that I was glad to see him and I hope things were well with him as I left the booth at the urging of my buddies. As I was walking out of the restaurant I realized that I had accidentally picked up the clown’s car keys. To this day, I don’t know if taking his keys could have been a subconscious act on my part but I did not knowingly take them on purpose. I told my friends that I would catch up with them and I returned inside and invited myself down to the clown’s booth, apologizing for stealing his keys.
We chatted for a few hours at the restaurant before I realized that it was almost two in the morning. During our conversation I thought about the different ways I could fuck the clown and considered taking him home. I imagined myself sitting on the couch with the clown’s hungry eyes looking up towards me while he was on his knees sucking my dick. Oh, the enjoyment I could have with this clown. I finally told him that it was getting late and I had to get going. The clown said he had to do the same since he had a thirty minute drive outside of town. This statement was the doorway for getting him into my bed. I casually mentioned that he was more than welcome to stay at my place and that I was most likely going to fall asleep watching a movie.
Five minutes later he was following me in his car back to my apartment. I quickly showed him around my place and we both settled into the living room where I grabbed a random DVD to watch. As the movie started we continued to talk about what we had been doing with our lives and getting updates from each other about mutual friends. I had curled up at the end of the couch and he had positioned himself on the love seat. After about another hour of conversation, silence came down on both of us as we stared blankly at the ongoing film.
Sensing my opportunity, I looked over at the clown and he returned my stare for a few moments before I told him that he could come over and set next to me. He casually played it coy as he walked over and sat down leaning towards me. It was just a few seconds later that I grabbed his face and started kissing him both deeply and hard. I could feel electricity flowing between us as I lifted him up on my lap while his legs wrapped around my waist. His skin was soft and his scent was drug-like in his ongoing seduction of my senses.
My mind was clear of all thoughts except for the desire to be in him. I pushed ourselves down to the living room floor as our lips continued to be locked together. At some point in all of this I managed to take off his shirt and unbutton his pants. My lips moved from his mouth down his neck, to his chest, and then slowly down his stomach when all of a sudden I heard a single word come out of his mouth and I froze as chills came rumbling down my spine.
“Stop,” was the single word that softly came out of his mouth. “I can’t do this unless we are together… unless we are a committed couple.” If I had been in my right mind I would have seen the flashing lights behind his head with the alarm sounding. A computer generated voice would have been screaming “RUN CHAD RUN!” At this point in my life however, I was thinking with my dick, and not using my head. He asked me if I was willing to be in a relationship with him and I smiled and said “sure.”. In the back of my mind I was thinking he would leave in the morning and I could easily just blow him off and not see him again as long as I got what I wanted tonight. He then asked me if I had protection and I told him I did as we preceded to do the deed of dirty gentlemen.
The next morning, I woke up in my bed feeling relaxed as I hovered in the temporary afterglow of sex. I stretched every muscle in my body, preparing myself to get out of bed and start my day as I turned and saw the clown still laying next to me. “Oh shit.” was the only term that was flying in my mind as my afterglow quickly faded off. The clown was still here, smiling at me. “Good morning sweetie.” was the words that came out of his mouth. I simply smiled at him and turned my face back into my pillow has panic began to take a hold of my heart.
The clown didn’t leave my apartment that day and he didn’t leave the next day. In fact, it would be almost four years before he finally did leave. If I had known that night that I was about to be thrust into my most turbulent relationship I would have ran for the hills. I was standing at the brick of everything changing and I didn’t even realize at the time how I was blindly dancing on the edge of the cliff. I was walking straight into the big, top tent, for the grand ole circus was in town. I had tasted the sweetness of my cotton candy and I was choking on my overcooked popcorn, preparing for the greatest show on earth to begin.