PRETTY AND UGLY LUCK

I found myself attracted to this guy who I thought was going to be different. He was suppose to be the nice and charming guy. The type of guy who liked to take things slow and develop a relationship at a higher standard than most other individuals, that just dwelled in the thin layer of skin deep. I thought he was supposed to be all of these things… actually, I know for a fact, that he is all of these things. However even the nicest guys can still commit jerkish acts; and this perhaps, is the reason why it’s okay that some nice guys do finish last.
This relationship started by the nudge of our mutual friends and it spanned over a period of just a few months and a few dates. He wasn’t the typical guy that I usually dated, for we all know the type, the self centered, unstable, lack of goals, lack of kindness type of guy that I am so magnetically drawn too. He wasn’t any of these things, he was rather, career oriented, straight edge, polite, and charming. He had family that he loved and great friends that he enjoyed.
We went out and watched a couple of movies and had dinner a couple of times together. I would purchase the movie tickets while he bought our snacks or vice versa. He took me to a couple of high priced restaurants and we would partake in great conversation as I would be hypnotized by his very appealing charisma. I actually liked the guy not just on a romantic level but as a person and a friend.
I started to get the usual questions that start at the slightest flirtation of a relationship. Have you guys kissed yet? Did you make your move? So what’s going on with you two? At the end of our forth date, I still didn’t have an answer to any of these things. Historically speaking, when it comes to being with another guy I usually move pretty fast. I usually don’t expect any relationship to develop so the individual and I would pretty much jump into bed and fuck before the end of the first date. Historically, our only goal would have been to get to that sexual high as fast as we could so we could move on to our next project. So when it came to Mr. Nice Guy, I made the decision not to be aggressive and to not make the first move even though I could feel the frustration of being the turtle and not my beloved rabbit.
Then the unexpected happened… out of the blue, Mr. Nice Guy stopped talking to me, the text messaging between us suddenly stopped, the phone calls went silent, and the online chat ceased. All communication between us just stopped and I was left wondering what the hell happened. I kept running through my mind what I did to make him apparently stop liking me. Was I not likeable? Did I not go slow enough? Did I say something wrong? Question after question kept running through my head and none of these questions had any answers. After a few days of worrisome thoughts and desperate attempts to make conversation through text messaging, I finally settled into disappointment. I had opened myself to a different perspective on having a relationship and I had somehow faltered yet again.
I wish I could say this guy was a jerk. I wish I could say he was a loser and a negative influence on my lifestyle and I could write all those things about him but it would simply be a lie. Some people believe in karma and what you put out comes back to you eventually. I’m not really sure if I do believe in Karma but I do know that I’ve done the exact same thing that Mr. Nice Guy did to me. I have cut individuals off without merit and I have not allowed them the dignity to embrace an explanation.
So I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to Mr. Nice Guy. Thank you for teaching me to always give respect to other people and to always remember that there might be times that I’m not ready for a relationship, and that I should always make clear my intentions with any person that comes into my life. I wish you well in all of your endeavors knowing that I, another nice guy, will not finish last.