JESUS AND THE PIGSKIN

This writing is sponsored by: The Free Tibet Movement

In 2004, The United Church of Christ sought to have advertising time on CBS, however the Network denied the “Jesus Didn’t Turn People Away. Neither Do We.” ad due to it’s position on a controversial public issue. CBS stated that the ad promoted same sex marriage and that the network had “a longstanding policy of not accepting advocacy advertising”. The United Church of Christ countered that the ad did indeed display a same sex couple along with an African American couple, Caucasian couple, Senior Citizens, women, and handicap individuals with the intended purpose that every individual were welcome in their establishments. The United Church of Christ later appealed CBS’s decision with the Federal Communications Commission but the appeal was dismissed.

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I do understand that many of the network try to maintain journalistic neutrality and they use this system to avoid any type of controversial advertising. However, in 2010 , CBS allowed “Focus on the Family”, a conservative religious organization to buy advertising time during the Super Bowl that will feature Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback Tim Tebow. The ad will supposedly show Tebow and his mother discussing the time when she became ill during her pregnancy and was told that she should abort. She then goes on to say that she made the decision not to follow the advice and the result was a celebration of life. The ad is said to have a clear position on the pro-life stance on the abortion issue.

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I don’t have a problem with this ad nor do I take issue with “Focus on the Family” airing an ad of this nature on CBS. I support different ideologies and I’m a strong advocate for the first amendment which everyone has a right to claim for themselves. I appreciate the fact that “Focus on the Family” has the opportunity to air an anti-abortion ad because it is their free speech right. I DO HOWEVER have a problem with CBS discriminating against a religious institution because of it’s more liberal views. Discriminating against one religious institution by giving favor to another is hypercritical, biased, and a violation of the first amendment.

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It appears that CBS has made the decision to allow the ad by rebuking their own stance on advocacy advertising which indicates that any number of groups should be allowed to buy advertising time during the Super Bowl. Pro-Life and Pro Choice groups, supporters of gay marriage and their opponents, along with any religious institution that would like to appeal to the millions that watch the Super Bowl every single year. There’s an danger to this decision by CBS that could lead to a very unbalanced media empire. Opening the doors to advocacy advertising will not only open the doors to the countless lawsuits against CBS from those organizations that are denied ad time, but it will polarize the network as they loose credentials as an news organization and loose viewers to it’s apparent public stance on every controversial issue that faces this country.

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My advice to CBS is simple. They can either go one way or the other with this, but they either need to keep their journalistic neutrality and hold up their ban against any type of advocacy advertising; or put an halt to discrimination against any institution due to their religious, conservative, or liberal views. Taking the latter however would open the door to many more problems for the network as both right and left wing nut jobs prepare their ads that could insinuate hateful lyric and discrimination against all types of minorities in this country. The network has a responsibility to the public and to it’s own programming from falling into a media driven debate by it’s own ill choices.

This writing is brought to you by the Group to overturn Roe V Wade

THE ISOLATION OF WRITERS

J.D. Salinger, author of “The Catcher in the Rye” died on January 27, 2010 in his home at Cornish, New Hampshire. Salinger was known not only for his famous novel that became a tool in surviving the adolescent years, but also for his reclusive lifestyle. Salinger would go through long periods of time without contact with individuals and for the most part after 1980, he shunned any type of public interview and retreated to his home where he remained quietly until his death.
Writers are known for their reclusive and private ways. Modern day writers such as Stephen King and Dean Koontz rarely commit to long term publicity tours surrounding their books and many writers like Thomas Harris, author of “The Silence of the Lambs” would prefer to be left alone altogether. Yet their work gives them an all intriguing and mysterious factor to their stature , therefore public interest into the lives of these famous authors have and will continue over the course of their lifetimes.
My grandmother would have the tendency to talk to my mother about my own reclusive nature. There was a time when I lived with my grandmother while I was reorganizing my life and she would constantly come to my bedroom door to check up on my well being. She would always ask if everything was okay or if something was wrong, which in my mind, it was a bit of an annoyance because everything was alright with me. I could see from her perspective why she felt like I could be depressed and withdrawn from the world but from my own mind, thoughts and ideas are coming at me and I needed time alone to process them. There are times where I will retreat to my bedroom and stay within the compounds of my bedroom walls for days at a time. These are usually periods for me where I can recharge and self focus to determine where I need to direct my energies. People often fear that I am suffering from depression during these times but for me it’s really a time of growth and reflection. I do tend to write more often when I am left alone to deal with the world that is taking place inside my head and writing, for me, is a tool that I use to bring some type of order to the chaos of ideas that are flowing through my mind.
I also understand the point that I have given people reasons to be concern about my mental status. I have dealt with depression for the most part of my twenties and I have used drugs to escape the feelings of isolation and loneliness. There was a period in my twenties where the only feeling that I strived for was the lack thereof. Numbness was the key to getting through each and every day. However, like everything under heaven, there is a season for everything and those seasons do pass for each of us in their own way.
There is nothing more fulfilling to me than locking myself in my apartment for a few days wearing nothing but my superman pajamas, eating chocolate chip cookies and milk , and having my laptop in my lap. My thoughts seem to flow better when I isolate myself and I can see certain ideas from different perspectives when I do this. I can ask myself questions and I can even role play if I need a different type of answer. I do have a tendency to talk to myself and even worst I sometimes talk to myself using a different voice just so I can get that different perspective. Some people might label this as crazy but for me, it’s a tool that keeps me sane. Much like love and hate, there is a very thin line to what is normal and crazy. I really believe that the best of human beings are able to walk more so on the crazy side of that line.
So this is the reason why I enjoy writing and why I sometimes enjoy isolating myself… it’s simply a release! It gives me a satisfaction that I can think for myself and expressed to those around me what I am free to just be and to speak. I take strong pride in my individuality and nothing makes me feel better knowing that I am one and unique. I can write about anything and I tend to make certain controversial stances on issues but it’s something I love to do. Yes, I contradict myself a lot and my opinions can change over a period of time but they are my own and even if I don’t agree with them later on, they are still mine. This is a gift to myself when I become the hermit that I sometimes can be. I understand J.D. Salinger’s need to hide himself from society. I know how much fun it can be living in your own world… I know it helps me to cope with everything that this planet has to deal with. So for all the J.D. Salingers out there…. Value the time you have in your worlds and grow from those experiences… if you’re a writer…. Then write! If you’re an actor…. Then act! If you’re a singer… then sing… Just remember to come out of your world every once in a while to say hi and to show us what you’ve accomplished. It’s these accomplishments that are our art and it’s art that shows our humanity.

ON OUR DEATHBED CONFESSION

I can feel frustration dwelling in the back of my mind that has constantly been stirring and pushing it’s way to the forefront of my thoughts over the past few months. I am sitting Indian style with my laptop in my lap and a cup of hot coco to my right. I’ve been adding some hot cinnamon schnapps to my coco to add a little kick… okay… let’s be honest here… I’ve been adding a little coco to the hot cinnamon schnapps. It’s gotten me to a place where I can write about an issue that has been bothering me of late and that was the entire purpose of getting a little tipsy which usually means I‘m also little ballsy. This can be a good thing or a straight up bad thing… whatever it is… it’s a confession.
I of course, will try and retain some gentleman posture here and not directly attack this individual because I don’t want to hurt this person even though I feel like this individual has been hurting me. So, as you have figured out I am angry at somebody… somebody that I love greatly and have shared a strong connection with over many years of my life. Our relationship has seen ups and downs and we have gone through many obstacles and accomplished many things together. We have touched each other in many ways and have experienced many different types of human connections throughout the years that we have known each other. We became family to each other and with that comes a certain degree of responsibility and obligation to each other. We have both been there for each other through losses and gains and I’ve always felt that I could count on this individual to back me up, but at some point along our road, we lost our connection, we lost the ability to talk to each other, we lost our wings. I don’t think there was one major issue that overcame us and severely strained our friendship even though I wish it was just one major issue. I could focus my energy onto that one issue, understand it, and then simply overcome it. Unfortunately, in the real world, when a friendship begins to decay, it usually is the result of several smaller issues that spread like an unseen disease.
We have both been divided my distance, our adulthood has flourished in separate places but we have been separated before and it didn’t impact our relationship the way distance is doing to us now. What’s more bothersome about this aspect is that we live in a much smaller world than we did twenty years ago. It seems, no matter where you go on this planet, a person is still able to maintain contact with family and friends. Cell phones, social networking sites, letters, text, and video messages keep us connected more to each other than ever before in human history. Yet we find ourselves not taking advantage of these things. It’s been almost nine months since I’ve talked to this person on the phone. I’ve tried calling this individual several times over a period of months and the phone would be left unanswered. I would usually get a text after a phone call that stated that they were to busy, that they were in a middle of a movie, or out shopping at Wal Mart, or my favorite line being that they get horrible reception. So the phone calls from my end of this ceased… then two months ago, the text messages ceased as well.
This is where I start getting pissed. Why is it that difficult to pick a fucking phone to call a life long friend? I don’t give a flying fuck if it’s just a three minute conversation on a bloody Sunday afternoon. A simple phone call shows that the person cares and they care enough to check up on how things are going. If gives us a better connection to each other rather than hearing impersonalized twitter updates. I know this individual doesn’t ignore calls from his mother or from other family members, I know this person takes calls from other people so why can’t this individual respect our friendship enough to take a few minutes out of his apparently busy schedule every week to catch up. Is it not a responsibility that we both must retain to keep our friendship from suffering unnecessary consequences? This person went through an ordeal almost a year ago and I had to hear about it from a family member because this individual wasn’t able to call and talk to me. So the questions must be posed… What got this individual to this point? Why has the friendship between us suffered? Did something happen between them that wasn’t right? Was there a fight between them? Did one offend the other? I can’t answer any of these questions without hearing the individual’s side of things. It seems that overnight, the Berlin Wall went up, and now there is the possibility that we might be separated for a long time.
Besides the fact that distance has separated us we both began falling in love with other people. We both started making new contacts and friendships along the way which is a very natural part of life. We both made choices to spend our lives with men that we love and we have both chosen to focus on these people that we hold so tightly to our hearts. Does this prevent us from being there for each other and being responsible for maintaining our friendship? It shouldn’t at all but then why do I feel that over the past year I have become a distraction that needs to be swept under the rug every time I try making contact with this person? I know in my heart that the individual cares about me but logically I feel that he is treating our friendship like shit.
Perhaps I should take the high road and try calling this person again… Perhaps I’m the one that should make the first move even after the connection between us as been lost for the past few months. I’m going to call one last time and I’m going to reach out, and I’m going to pray that this person responds… I just need a glass of water first because now I’m nervous….
I just called and the only thing I got was his voice message… “Hi… This is so and so… Leave a message.” It’s funny that the only time I get to hear my friend’s voice is through an answering machine. Am I surprise that the individual didn’t answer my call? Not really? I expected it as much, it would have been more of a surprise if the individual would have answered. I’ve been sitting here for a few moments thinking about my friend and I don’t really feel angry anymore but rather sad. I’m sad for my friend because for some reason this individual is unable to be responsible enough to help hold up our relationship. Our lifelong conversation is nothing more than a whisper and with each passing day, that whisper becomes more faded. What are the barriers that are blocking us from reaching out to each other?
At least I got my feeling on the matter out of my head. I wish I had a resolution to these thoughts that are coming down upon this paper but I don’t think this is the end of the story… I refuse to believe that after twenty years of friendship that it’s going to end quietly and fade into that good night. Can friendship ever really die? I really don’t have the answer to this but perhaps my friend will somehow read this and give me a good answer. A flashback just crossed my mind… We were teenagers breaking into an empty house pretending that the house was ours. We would discuss on where we would put things and how we would decorate and design the many rooms of the empty house; all the while we dreamed that one of us would be a photographer in Los Angeles while the other would be a writer in New York City. Those were the day dreams that we shared, dreams of us being close and apart Our lives didn’t quite pan out on what we thought they were going to be like when we were sixteen but it’s still nice to reflect on memories like this because it makes me feel closer to my friend during this time that this individual has pulled away. It’s thoughts like this that makes me feel that our friendship cannot die… it can just lay in a coma on life support for a very long time.
Shortly after the moment I wrote the last line “it can just lay in a coma on life support for a very long time”, my friend finally returned my call. For a few seconds I was overwhelmed because it had been so long since I had heard his voice but it seemed we picked up back on where we left off. He told me that he wasn’t sure why we went through these periods of time where we didn’t connect much but we both agreed that we would work on keeping each other in focus. I did miss him and it was refreshing to hear him talk to me about his life and his family. He has the tendency to always remind me that I can do amazing things and I hope that he feels the same way. So I guess my question was answered… friendship doesn’t die… but at least my best friend, Jason and I are finally out of the ICU.

A DECADE OF POETIC POLITICS

Oh, the “hanging chad” that stung us like a bee
Dumping our boy from the blue grass of Tennessee
The court crowning her favorite color of Red
Placing blame on Green for them losing by a thread.

Tuesday came showing us ravens in the sky
New Jerusalem crumpled straight down from on high
Heartache and loss taken advantage by some
As the patriot pounded it’s uncivil drum.

O’George, you promised no child left behind
You really think the masses were completely blind
A war continued in search of evil kings
Anaconda lashed out by the Eagle’s strong wings.

The Burning Bush that dances the Masquerade
Carelessly tossing about our mighty grenade
Proclaiming the right of the shock and awe campaign
By the devil’s claw, establishing our domain.

A proclamation that gays were Hitler’s Jews
Eleven acts that kept them from walking down pews
Ketchup tried to unseat the Texas Cowboy
Only to fail by his propaganda decoy.

A city that drowned by wrath of Katrina
Lacking hope, trapped in a damaged sport’s arena
Salvation and grace came by friends of Sean Penn
The cowboy’s polls crumbled. Can I hear an Amen?

Israel fights those who seek her to falter
Red continues his support high from his alter
The year ends with the hangman’s final judgment
For crimes he committed; brought by his resentment.

An “Axis of Evil” gave signs of false hope
As some wondered if the Cowboy had smoked some dope
The world showed signs of a fast downward fall
As gun shots rang out when Buddha was standing tall .

She strongly hammered in eighteen million cracks
He knocked out Alaska and those moose killing whacks
Hope and change brings the end to the Cowboy’s reign
As the value of everything went down the drain.

Healthcare began it’s long tumble from the top
As most paid more attention to the “King of Pop”
Jobs losses grew, plunging the average man
As this decade ended with Hope’s unstable plan.

INTO THE GREEN FIELDS: PART TWO

There had been several incidents over the past decade that has caused me to doubt the political system that is currently in place. The illusion that I had of the two-party system began to crack open in the fall of 2000 where polls began to show a very tightening race between Vice President Al Gore and Texas Governor George Bush. Hours before the election, NBC Correspondent Tim Russert claimed that the election was going down to “Florida, Florida, Florida!”
Tim Russert’s prediction would live in infamy. Based on exit polling, the networks called Florida early in the night for Gore but something was happening in Florida that the networks had overlooked. First, the Florida panhandle was in a different time zone and votes were still coming into the state’s tally. Secondly, the networks discovered that the exist polling that had been done was not matching the actual results coming out of Florida. Clearly the race was to close to call as the embarrassed Networks recanted the call for Florida and placed it back in the “to close to call” category. The situation only got worst from there, the networks, late in the night, gave Florida to Bush and then again had to recant leaving the election unresolved the morning after.
270 is the number that the electoral college mandates that an candidate must obtain to win the Presidential Election. Al Gore had 255 votes compared to George Bush’s 246 votes with Oregon and New Mexico still too close to call. So it came down to whoever won the state of Florida would win the presidency. A legal battle for Florida’s 25 electoral votes began hours after the election as both sides fought to claim the Florida crown. The back and forth squabbling made “hanging chads” and “dimpled chads” a political sex joke and Florida’s Secretary of State Katharine Harris became a political 2000 election icon. Ultimately it was the United States Supreme Court that stepped in that halted the several recounts in Florida in a controversial 5-4 decision that gave Governor Bush the presidency.
Even as Governor Bush claimed the presidency, a clear rift had form in my mind of the United States political system. The state of Florida had given their crown to Bush but something else bothered me greatly, for Al Gore had received 543,895 more votes nationwide; he had clearly taken the popular vote count. The electoral college had floundered and true democracy was not represented in the 2000 Presidential Election.
In 2002 I began volunteering, through the Victory Fund, for the campaign of Rod Blagojevich. I would set in a room making phone calls on behave of Rod, letting the citizens of Illinois know how he would fight for the working class, he would end corruption that had plagued the governor’s seat in recent years, and he would bring about economical change to the state. Rod was the guy to get these things accomplished! I would attend political events sporadically through the fall in support of Rod, who was the candidate that I believed in. Rod Blagojevich became the first Democrat to be elected to the governor’s seat in Illinois since 1972. His victory was filled with promise for the State of Illinois.
Illusions can really cast their shadows… On December 9th, 2008 after winning two terms as governor, Rod Blagojevich was arrested on federal corruption charges which included conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and the solicitation of bribery. He is accused of trying to sell the senate seat that was once held by President Obama to the highest bidder in what is called “pay to play” politics. Blagojevich was soon impeached and removed from office by the Illinois legislature and barred from ever running for political office in the state of Illinois again.
As well in 20002, I co-founded a College Democrats group at my community college and hosted a “Get to Know the Candidates” with the College Republican group that was on campus. That was the day that I met Sam Cahnman, a guest speaker who was running for the Sangamon County Board. We discussed his campaign and he invited me to join him as his volunteer coordinator. A few weeks into this position and just a couple of days before election day I was working in Sam’s law office going through a list of telephone numbers that needed to be called. My ink pin stopped working and I searched the top of his desk to find another one unsuccessfully. I then opened his left hand drawer to find elicit porn magazines piled on top of each other in his desk. I don’t know why this stunned me so much but I had a feeling that Mr. Cahnman was wearing a mask, pretending to be something that he wasn’t. I left and went home that night and I didn’t go back to his office even after several phone calls by him were left unanswered. He was the only Democrat to win a seat on the Sangamon County Board that year, which he won, a victory made by just one vote.
The day after his election victory, Sam Cahnman faced allegations of sexual misconduct. He allegedly had a romantic encounter with an inmate at the Sangamon County Jailhouse. According the Springfield State Register, the inmate had been arrested after police had found a methamphetamine lab in her home. I was unaware that earlier in the year, Cahnman was restricted by the Illinois Department of Corrections after a staff member accused Cahnman of “touching, hugging, and kissing a woman inmate.” I believe the restriction was lifted after a few months. However, in August of 2009, Sam Cahnman was arrested for allegedly soliciting a sexual act from two undercover female police officers outside a local Springfield bar.
In 2004, John Kerry chose John Edwards to be his running mate to fight the Goliath Republican propaganda of George Bush and Dick Cheney. Sept. 11th had changed the dynamics of the entire world. We were engaged in what was in my view, as a very unjust war in Iraq and our troops in the war in Afghanistan were beginning to be overlooked and forgotten. Political propaganda began flying around on the reasons why the war in Iraq was necessary but I didn’t, I wouldn’t buy into it. I had supported John Edwards during the Primaries but not with the passion that I had during the 2002 elections. I was excited that Kerry chose him to be his running mate and I felt that Edwards had the charisma, the passion, and the ability to bring about change in Washington. However, when election night approached and I found myself being very disengaged in the whole political process. I don’t quite remember but I believe I didn’t even vote in the election.
In the next few years I would feel very disenchanted by our political system. I really didn’t want anything more to do with the political arena and that’s saying a lot since politics has been such a huge part of my life. I’m a self professed news junkie and every since I was that child sitting in front of the television set watching the speeches of Michael Dukakis, I have dwelled in that political world. Election Day was always an exciting time for me and at some point through all of these incidents that involved the Electoral College, Governor Blagojevich, Sam Cahnman and even to the extent of John Edwards I was no longer able to connect with it. Looking back into my twenties and realizing how much a turbulent decade this time period was for me , I realized that without political hope , I was becoming more lost in my own life. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself anymore. College became a side chore that acted more like a thorn in my side rather a place to promote my education and my future. I no longer cared about college, I no longer cared about the political system and I was intent on just dwelling day to day without any direction. I felt that no matter what I did, it would not make a difference in the long run. I had put my faith in so many political individuals that had all eventually let me down.
It wasn’t until 2008 that my political ideology began to change and I realized that I had continued to support a political party that was corrupted with the lack of true democracy. I also began to realized that I couldn’t depend on other people to protect my rights, my beliefs, and the issues that I value if I wasn’t going to stand up and fight for them myself. These were all becoming such personal issues, and clearly the path that I had been following for so long was broken. This realization would lead to the decision to leave behind the two-party system. This is when I decided to leave the Democratic Party in search for something else… something more.

THOUGHTS ON THE FACE OF GOD

I’m feeling the need to talk about God. With the recent controversy surrounding the hateful and ignorant comments that Pat Robertson, host of the 700 Club, has made, I feel the need to share my thoughts and perception of what God means to me. I believe in God because I feel in my heart that there is something more that connects everything around us. I look around this earth and I see so many wonderful things about our planet and I feel a deep connection to her. Everything about our planet fits together and I feel a powerful, intimate need to protect and guard our Garden of Eden. Making sure that our ecosystems are clean and undamaged, making sure that we help cut CO2 levels from destroying the atmosphere to simply recycling plastic bottles because I know in my heart that all of this is a part of this fantastic reality created by God. I feel personally responsible that our Earth stays healthy and prosperous because it’s a direct reflection on my relationship with Him. I feel love for him, and I know this, only because there have been moments in my life where I’ve had feelings of anger towards Him, I’ve expressed hatred towards Him, I’ve cursed Him, and I‘ve screamed at the top of my lungs at Him. I truly believe that you can only have these feelings towards anything when, and only when, you actually care and love. These are usually the times where I feel that I am more connected towards Him and it‘s usually when I need Him the most. These raw emotions can only come to surface because I know that I am connected to something greater than myself. I view Him as a father and as a mother, as a friend, as a jokester, and as a companion.
I know that the reality of this connection is more complicated and there are so many questions that people can debate back and forth, which they have done so for thousands of years. Numerous questions arise out of our relationship with God that cannot be clearly answered. Is Jesus Christ the son of God? Is Mohammed the prophet that was touched by the hand of God? Did Buddha truly find enlightenment? Is God really the Goddess of all that is nature? So many people ask these questions and more and more questions are born out of the answers that are given. So I find myself going to the most simple, logical answer to all of these questions. It’s a simple fact that I believe that all of these questions are true and accurate to the believer. There is no reason for these many takes on religion to contradict each other because these contradictions are nothing more than simple illusions. God is what is right and true in your heart. I believe that he shows himself in different forms to the many different people of our earth. I believe our connection to Him is personal and varies by each person. I feel closer to Him through Jesus Christ, through beautiful art and music, and especially through nature. The person standing next to me might feel closer to him through the experience of Mohammad or by the use of a Pagan ritual, both of which, I treat with the utmost respect and through my eyes, are great things.
I count myself as a progressive Christian but I will be the first to admit that I don’t always follow Christian doctrine based on the illusions that these doctrines create. I open my mind to the possibility that the stories of Christ are not entirely known as it is portrayed in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These books are dear to me but I open myself to other Gospels that include Mary, Judas, Phillip, and Thomas because I feel that each of these Gospels shed a little light and a little perspective on the whole fascinating story of Christ. I also believe that my personal connection with nature is as strong as my connection with Christ because in my heart, I feel that they are one in the same. If the essence of God flowed through the veins of the Christian savior, my heart tells me that his essence flows through the trees, plants, and animals. This is the reason why I value, cherish and adore this Earth… it is the reason why I will continue to fight for what is right by our planet. I also believe that the essence of God flows through each of us and this is the reason why I feel it’s so important that we treat the different cultures of our planet, the different diverse nature of all her people, and the many religions that lay across her globe with respect and gratitude.
God gave us the tool of education so we would have the ability to rise above ignorance and intolerance and embrace the ideologies of different cultures and people. It is through education that we find understanding and our connections with each other become ever much more clearer. My favorite verse from the bible is from the book of First Corinthians, Chapter 13, “Love covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. For now we see in a mirror obscurely, but at that time face to face; now I know in part, but at that time I will fully know even as also I was fully known.” This portrays to me that I can only discover my true meaning and appreciate my own faith by realizing that I am a piece of a very large and diverse puzzle. I can only be understood if I am to understand the many different people of this planet. Education is the key to unlocking the mysterious of our God.
I have sinned and there have been times in my life that I have sinned greatly but that doesn’t mean that God does not live inside of me. From my perspective I feel him flowing through my veins as Christ must have felt his presence inside of Him. This is why it’s so important to me that I take care of myself and truly love myself. I can’t emphasis enough the importance of loving yourself because without that love and respect, I find that it’s hard for other people to love and respect me. I take care of my body like it’s a holy temple, because it’s the one place that my soul will call home for a time. I take care of my mind because it’s the tool that allows my soul to express itself. I take care of my heart, because it’s the tool that allows my soul to spread it’s compassion. I lack perfection and I never will be, there will be times in my life where I will falter, but knowing the essence of God flows through me , allows me the knowledge that I will be able to pick myself back up again. It’s part of the human experience to fail because it’s those failures that takes us higher.
So this is what God means to me… He is everything and everyone around me. He is my history, my present, and my future. He is the connections that bind us all together, He is the Earth that gives us our life, He is the culture that gives the religions of our society their greatness. So I will say a prayer for all of us, that we each will have great compassion, that we each will have great forgiveness that dwells in our hearts, and that we each will seek out great knowledge and understanding so we can continue to respect and love each other by the grace of our God. May he always be with each of you in whatever shape and form you allow Him to take… Amen!

PAT ROBERTSON WALKS AMONG US

It’s disgusting how there are individuals that will take advantage of a tragedy and use that tragedy for their own evil purposes. Pat Robertson, founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network and host of the 700 Club once again opened his foul induced mouth and spit out hate filled vile for our ears to hear. Hours after a 7.0 magnitude quake rocked the Haitian capital of Port-Au-Prince killing tens of thousands of people, this so-called Christian activist proclaimed that they had swore a pact with devil and they have been cursed with one thing after another. This coming after he blamed the September 11th attacks on Washington D.C. and New York on the gays, lesbians, and abortionist and Hurricane Katrina on the United States’ support of abortion rights.
These attempts by Pat Robertson is a scare tactic to frighten people into a faith so they will think that horrible and disastrous experiences will not happen to them. What Pat Robertson doesn’t realize is that God had nothing to do with the earthquake that struck Haiti. This event, like every other natural disaster in our history is part of the order of things. This earthquake is nothing more than two platonic plates rubbing against each other and unfortunately there just happens to be millions of people living on top of these plates. We are constantly caught in the crossroads of nature and believe me when I say that the Haitian people are not being punished by Pat Robertson’s ideology of God.
Now let’s talk about what Pat Robertson is doing…. He is raping the people of Haiti by taking advantage of this disaster to promote his no-tolerance propaganda. He is nothing more than a fraud and a liar as he continues to manipulate the word of God to fulfill his own political agenda. He takes advantage of minority groups in our own country and around the world by placing blame on them, saying they are the reasons why we suffer the tragedies of hurricanes, earthquakes and terrorist attacks. He blames these minority groups much in the same way that Adolf Hitler blamed the Jewish populations for the woes of Germany. Perhaps Mr. Robertson should grow a mustache for it seems that he and Hitler have much in common when it comes to their ideology. He continues to portray that he has an intimate relationship with God, the he is someone that was chosen to spread the word of our Lord. This is a lie! These are nothing more than false and fabricated lies that continue to spit from the mouth of this snake. Pat Robertson has used his skills as a manipulator and a deceiver to get into a position of power within the Christian Community and it breaks my heart that there are so many people that can’t see through the clouds of poison that he spreads around him.
Pat Robertson doesn’t know the first thing about God. He might claim to have a personal connection with God but this unfortunately is not true. His personal connection with God has been poisoned by his own ideology and his own corrupted interpretation. He has twisted God’s word into serving his own needs rather than allowing himself to serve God. When an individual allows this to happen, then their heart becomes filled with deceiving hate. They spit out hate that is covered with a thin layer of love and hope… but this thin layer of love and hope is nothing more than an illusion. They use this illusion to spread their hate and we all know how hate is like a weed… it will continue to grow through the garden absorbing everything around it, taking all nourishment, and leaving nothing behind in it’s wake.
My message to fellow Christians is simple. Follow what feels right in your heart. Allow God to guide you and allow Him to fill you with His love and everlasting life. Don’t allow the deceivers of this world to detour you, don’t allow them to manipulate you, and don’t allow them to take advantage of you. Stay strong within yourself and love yourself greatly! Follow your heart and you will see through their clouds of poison and you will see everything so much more clearly. In times of tragedy and suffering hold tight to your faith because God walks with us, he holds us, and he will continue to stand with us. Stay true to yourself, even when the likes of the Pat Robertsons in our world say otherwise, because in the end, it’s your own personal relationship with your God that matters, not the corrupted agenda of Pat Robertson. The love we have for ourselves, and the love that we give and share with all those around us, will be the path that will lead us all home.

A TRAIN TO SOMEWHERE

Just woke up from a small nap as I ride this train to Chicago, thinking about all the things that are to come. I have a two hour layover in Chicago which gives me enough time to have a light lunch before I begin my trip to Cincinnati, which is the place that I will call my new home for a while. I’m hopeful that there are many opportunities in Cincinnati and therefore will find a new job pretty quick. I have so much to accomplish before Marleo joins me in about nine weeks; such as finding an house or an apartment to live in and making sure I have enough income for us to survive while he’s able to find his career path. I smile to myself as I think how the responsibilities of adulthood never cease. Sometimes these responsibilities are difficult and hard to manage but I just have to remember to take it one day at a time.
My thoughts are interrupted by the images that I see from the train window of small houses and country roads covered with ice and snow. The cold air of this January morning is slowly creeping into this train as I take time to wrap my scarf around my neck and place my cap firmly on my head. I detest cold and I have a strong hate for the snow but it’s something that every Yankee has to deal and cope with during the long winter months of the north. I think about growing up in Texas for a bit and how nothing really prepares you for the responsibilities of adulthood or the coldness of winter. They both seem to comes towards me like a race horse and no matter how long I prepare for either one of them ; I still feel feelings of hesitation and I question my ability to embrace them. Perhaps it’s okay not to embrace those things but rather tolerate and work through them knowing that things will be better when I get my responsibilities done and that the warmth of summer will be waiting when this long winter is over.
Can I build a new home with Marleo in this new place? Can I find a great job that fulfills my desire to help and promote people around me? Will I make new friends and connections in this new place? Both my heart and mind are telling me yes to all of these questions which is a strong indication that I have a lot of faith in what I’m doing. I know that Marleo has faith in me and that gives me the courage to get these responsibilities accomplished. Over the past couple of months, I have begun to transfer my thought process from thinking that I don’t just need to do things for myself but rather I need to do things for us as a couple, as a team, as partners that are approaching this life together. This way of thinking as propelled me to believe that everything that I do is more important and everything that I accomplish means so much more because it’s not just me affected by my own actions but it’s also that of another person. We are a family starting out in a new place, leaving behind the mundane things of youth and facing the reality of adulthood. A reality that can be both fantastic and real, dreamlike and sincere, and bittersweet and joyful.
There are also individuals that I am leaving behind like Gene and Summer but I feel like they are going on this journey with me. I know I haven’t said goodbye to either one of them because I feel that there isn’t a need to say goodbye. I’ve come to realize that I no longer need to live on the same street as my best friends because as I get older this world is becoming smaller. It seems that no matter where I go on this planet I have access to my friends and they have access to me as we continue to support and promote each other in all the ways that we do. It’s this notion that I have that indicates that I’m not ending anything that I’m leaving behind, that this is still my same life taking a new turn.
My buddy, Michael just called me a few moments ago to tell me that snow is falling in Cincinnati. I almost laughed out loud knowing that I’m facing snow and I still won’t be ready for it. I’ll be staying with him for a while as I get on my own two feet and get things ready for Marleo’s arrival. I’m excited about connecting with him and looking forward to the experiences that we are going to have over the next weeks. I’m looking forward to going to my first Cincinnati Reds game even though in my heart I will always hold my St, Louis Cardinals tightly! I’m looking forward to spending time at Newport going through the many books at Barnes and Noble. Visiting the Cincinnati Art Museum and spending time working out at the YMCA and jogging in the parks. I feel for the first time, in a long time, that over the last few months, I am actually going somewhere. My life has a new direction and everything over this past year has been leading up to this. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am on a train ride to somewhere…

TWITTER ME THIS

Thank God! Just arrived in Chicago so I won’t have to kill the woman with the stupid laugh next to me! / It’s so sad when you have to fix yourself a pot of coffee to keep up with your Wii! / Merry Christmas! Value your loved ones, embrace your faith, and love and cherish yourself! / Been up since 4AM, preparing to say goodbye to Aunt Billy. / I’ve said this before and I will say it again… Family Guy is freaking hilarious! / Just FYI: There is a Law & Order: SVU marathon on USA right now! / VISA was absolutely no help! They kept referring me to my 24 hour bank line… WHICH IS CLOSED!!! / My name is Chad Farmer and I’m an addict! I’m addicted to Lipton’s Diet Green Tea and coffee… it’s the only nutrition my body gets! / I must ask myself what Al Gore was thinking back in the day, cause Senator Joe Lieberman is an ASS! / I think I should start my own news organization… I would ban Ashley Dupre, Paris Hilton, Tiger Woods’ Girl #1, Tiger Woods’ Girl #2, Tiger Woods’ Girl…. / Precious was brilliant! I almost threw up when the line, “Precious, come help out mommy.” was uttered! / I might go insane tonight! / Woke up early this morning to the best thing… on top of that we treated ourselves to Starbucks. / You know you’re in trouble when the Customs Officer says, “You know it’s illegal to lie to a Federal Agent, don’t you? / One thing about Jamaica… they love Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, and Kenny Rogers! Thinking about burying Summer in the sand… wondering when the tide comes in. CRAP! She’s looking at me! / Watching goats run across the beach and wondering if they are going to be on tomorrow’s buffet? / Dancing in a Disco Nightclub with British girls… so hot and so drunk! Snorkeling tomorrow! / Survived! Going to lunch soon… Summer + Coral Reef = DANGER! / ATTN: ALL TURKEYS: My mom’s house will be a safe haven for you this year so please stop by and hide out if you need too… we’re eating ham! / HOLY MOTHER! Adam Lambert is a whore!! Did you ya’ll see that on the AMA’s??? WOW! / He was singing a song and out of the blue started to tongue his male keyboard player… it was hot… yet provoking! / Coffee… will someone please just inject it into my veins? / I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects - Dorian Grey / I really need to pee. I just don’t want to get out of bed. Is there an empty bottle somewhere? / Sitting here watching “V”, waiting for Anna to eat a puppy or something. / Watching the Yankees take it home BOYS!! / I am going to kill a sibling to likes to call at the wee hours of the morning wanting someone to take him to get ciggs… I LACK SLEEP! / The Tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. It lies in having no goal to reach. Good morning and make a goal in your life! / To all of our Veterans: We thank you and honor you for everything you’ve done for our country everyday! May God send his blessings on you! / This is my life… only I have the ability to change it, to move it forward, to keep it still, or rise it to new levels. / “I get by with a little help from my friends.” - John Lennon / Texas, my Texas, oh hail the mighty state! Texas, oh Texas, so beautiful, so great! / Can you name the actress and movie where this line came from, “You’re obsessed with her, and you’re obsessed with her daughter!” She’s a fav! / Lincoln once said, “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Please put value in yours! / Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings! / The View is so funny… I’m in love with Elizabeth Hasselbeck… I could debate her everyday for the rest of my life! / So… should I watch Roseanne or go for my five mile hike… Decisions!!! Damn!! There are days that healthy lifestyles suck! / LOL! So a cat was electrocuted this morning causing 2,500 people to lose power here… the great part is… the cat LIVED! / Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize?? This is a little shocking to me… Does he deserve this? I just don’t know… / So Kylie started to sing “Better the Devil you Know” and I almost went face first down a staircase! 10,000 gay guys dancing is dangerous! / For all of you celebrities out there backing Roman Polanski, what he did was disgusting, bring him back to the states to stand trial! / “Hope is a bastard… a liar… a cheat, a tease… Hope has no place in days like these” - Ben Folds! / I’m bored! Guess I’ll take a shower and turn on some Britney Spears. Even though the last time I played Womanizer I almost busted my head! / All I could think about today was if my penis was jealous that my tooth got yanked yesterday… Yes… the thoughts of me! / To Joe Wilson: Our congress is not the British House of Commons! Control your outburst and start bringing constructive ideas to Healthcare! / Had a dream about Brad Pitt last night… we were playing the Harry Potter game on PS3... The entire time I was wondering where Jolie was??? / Coffee is the life-force that flows thru me… without it, I AM NOTHING! Thank you Folgers for letting my days happen!! / I want a margarita! I want to go to the zoo, drink margaritas then go to a ballgame and drink margaritas! This would be my perfect day! / I am ALMOST able to talk normally again! Still having issues with S’s, W, and T’s! As God is my witness… I WILL NEVER CHEW ON ICE AGAIN! / Escalators are a death trap for some! Please refer questions to my girl, Nora! / To thy own self be true… Which isn’t from the bible but still God inspired. / Having one of those days where I could just get up and leave everything behind… To start over again… in a new place… a new time. / I’m a saint that sins. I’m hard core, political junkie, conservative, slutty, liberal, shy, sexual liberating. I’m Chad. I am contradiction. / I’m addicted to the SOTOMAYOR confirmation hearings. / Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime / OMG!!! I’ve been assaulted by a gang of four year olds!! I am bleeding! Someone call the cops! My nephew has me pinned! / OMG!! The FBI searched my grandfather’s house this morning due to suspected terrorist activities!! O… M… G… ! ! ! ! / I’m so lovin Chelsea Lately!!! Tonight’s topic is masturbation and Madonna!! Lovin it!! I don’t think I could masturbate for nine hours!! / Preparing for my date… What to wear? Slutty undies? That’s a YES!! It’s going to be a fun evening!! / Kirk… Spock… And Bones make my putter flutter! / My new favorite movie line: “I’m in good with the judge. I don’t want to be graphic but I gave him blow jobs for drugs!” / Two more hours and I’m of… Thinking about a bubble bath… with Angelina Jolie! / My dad just called. His house was raided by police. He was arrested for selling pot. Sigh… Only my family.