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Thank God! Just arrived in Chicago so I won’t have to kill the woman with the stupid laugh next to me! / It’s so sad when you have to fix yourself a pot of coffee to keep up with your Wii! / Merry Christmas! Value your loved ones, embrace your faith, and love and cherish yourself! / Been up since 4AM, preparing to say goodbye to Aunt Billy. / I’ve said this before and I will say it again… Family Guy is freaking hilarious! / Just FYI: There is a Law & Order: SVU marathon on USA right now! / VISA was absolutely no help! They kept referring me to my 24 hour bank line… WHICH IS CLOSED!!! / My name is Chad Farmer and I’m an addict! I’m addicted to Lipton’s Diet Green Tea and coffee… it’s the only nutrition my body gets! / I must ask myself what Al Gore was thinking back in the day, cause Senator Joe Lieberman is an ASS! / I think I should start my own news organization… I would ban Ashley Dupre, Paris Hilton, Tiger Woods’ Girl #1, Tiger Woods’ Girl #2, Tiger Woods’ Girl…. / Precious was brilliant! I almost threw up when the line, “Precious, come help out mommy.” was uttered! / I might go insane tonight! / Woke up early this morning to the best thing… on top of that we treated ourselves to Starbucks. / You know you’re in trouble when the Customs Officer says, “You know it’s illegal to lie to a Federal Agent, don’t you? / One thing about Jamaica… they love Michael Jackson, Celine Dion, and Kenny Rogers! Thinking about burying Summer in the sand… wondering when the tide comes in. CRAP! She’s looking at me! / Watching goats run across the beach and wondering if they are going to be on tomorrow’s buffet? / Dancing in a Disco Nightclub with British girls… so hot and so drunk! Snorkeling tomorrow! / Survived! Going to lunch soon… Summer + Coral Reef = DANGER! / ATTN: ALL TURKEYS: My mom’s house will be a safe haven for you this year so please stop by and hide out if you need too… we’re eating ham! / HOLY MOTHER! Adam Lambert is a whore!! Did you ya’ll see that on the AMA’s??? WOW! / He was singing a song and out of the blue started to tongue his male keyboard player… it was hot… yet provoking! / Coffee… will someone please just inject it into my veins? / I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects - Dorian Grey / I really need to pee. I just don’t want to get out of bed. Is there an empty bottle somewhere? / Sitting here watching “V”, waiting for Anna to eat a puppy or something. / Watching the Yankees take it home BOYS!! / I am going to kill a sibling to likes to call at the wee hours of the morning wanting someone to take him to get ciggs… I LACK SLEEP! / The Tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. It lies in having no goal to reach. Good morning and make a goal in your life! / To all of our Veterans: We thank you and honor you for everything you’ve done for our country everyday! May God send his blessings on you! / This is my life… only I have the ability to change it, to move it forward, to keep it still, or rise it to new levels. / “I get by with a little help from my friends.” - John Lennon / Texas, my Texas, oh hail the mighty state! Texas, oh Texas, so beautiful, so great! / Can you name the actress and movie where this line came from, “You’re obsessed with her, and you’re obsessed with her daughter!” She’s a fav! / Lincoln once said, “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Please put value in yours! / Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings! / The View is so funny… I’m in love with Elizabeth Hasselbeck… I could debate her everyday for the rest of my life! / So… should I watch Roseanne or go for my five mile hike… Decisions!!! Damn!! There are days that healthy lifestyles suck! / LOL! So a cat was electrocuted this morning causing 2,500 people to lose power here… the great part is… the cat LIVED! / Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize?? This is a little shocking to me… Does he deserve this? I just don’t know… / So Kylie started to sing “Better the Devil you Know” and I almost went face first down a staircase! 10,000 gay guys dancing is dangerous! / For all of you celebrities out there backing Roman Polanski, what he did was disgusting, bring him back to the states to stand trial! / “Hope is a bastard… a liar… a cheat, a tease… Hope has no place in days like these” - Ben Folds! / I’m bored! Guess I’ll take a shower and turn on some Britney Spears. Even though the last time I played Womanizer I almost busted my head! / All I could think about today was if my penis was jealous that my tooth got yanked yesterday… Yes… the thoughts of me! / To Joe Wilson: Our congress is not the British House of Commons! Control your outburst and start bringing constructive ideas to Healthcare! / Had a dream about Brad Pitt last night… we were playing the Harry Potter game on PS3... The entire time I was wondering where Jolie was??? / Coffee is the life-force that flows thru me… without it, I AM NOTHING! Thank you Folgers for letting my days happen!! / I want a margarita! I want to go to the zoo, drink margaritas then go to a ballgame and drink margaritas! This would be my perfect day! / I am ALMOST able to talk normally again! Still having issues with S’s, W, and T’s! As God is my witness… I WILL NEVER CHEW ON ICE AGAIN! / Escalators are a death trap for some! Please refer questions to my girl, Nora! / To thy own self be true… Which isn’t from the bible but still God inspired. / Having one of those days where I could just get up and leave everything behind… To start over again… in a new place… a new time. / I’m a saint that sins. I’m hard core, political junkie, conservative, slutty, liberal, shy, sexual liberating. I’m Chad. I am contradiction. / I’m addicted to the SOTOMAYOR confirmation hearings. / Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. - Optimus Prime / OMG!!! I’ve been assaulted by a gang of four year olds!! I am bleeding! Someone call the cops! My nephew has me pinned! / OMG!! The FBI searched my grandfather’s house this morning due to suspected terrorist activities!! O… M… G… ! ! ! ! / I’m so lovin Chelsea Lately!!! Tonight’s topic is masturbation and Madonna!! Lovin it!! I don’t think I could masturbate for nine hours!! / Preparing for my date… What to wear? Slutty undies? That’s a YES!! It’s going to be a fun evening!! / Kirk… Spock… And Bones make my putter flutter! / My new favorite movie line: “I’m in good with the judge. I don’t want to be graphic but I gave him blow jobs for drugs!” / Two more hours and I’m of… Thinking about a bubble bath… with Angelina Jolie! / My dad just called. His house was raided by police. He was arrested for selling pot. Sigh… Only my family.