A TRAIN TO SOMEWHERE

Just woke up from a small nap as I ride this train to Chicago, thinking about all the things that are to come. I have a two hour layover in Chicago which gives me enough time to have a light lunch before I begin my trip to Cincinnati, which is the place that I will call my new home for a while. I’m hopeful that there are many opportunities in Cincinnati and therefore will find a new job pretty quick. I have so much to accomplish before Marleo joins me in about nine weeks; such as finding an house or an apartment to live in and making sure I have enough income for us to survive while he’s able to find his career path. I smile to myself as I think how the responsibilities of adulthood never cease. Sometimes these responsibilities are difficult and hard to manage but I just have to remember to take it one day at a time.
My thoughts are interrupted by the images that I see from the train window of small houses and country roads covered with ice and snow. The cold air of this January morning is slowly creeping into this train as I take time to wrap my scarf around my neck and place my cap firmly on my head. I detest cold and I have a strong hate for the snow but it’s something that every Yankee has to deal and cope with during the long winter months of the north. I think about growing up in Texas for a bit and how nothing really prepares you for the responsibilities of adulthood or the coldness of winter. They both seem to comes towards me like a race horse and no matter how long I prepare for either one of them ; I still feel feelings of hesitation and I question my ability to embrace them. Perhaps it’s okay not to embrace those things but rather tolerate and work through them knowing that things will be better when I get my responsibilities done and that the warmth of summer will be waiting when this long winter is over.
Can I build a new home with Marleo in this new place? Can I find a great job that fulfills my desire to help and promote people around me? Will I make new friends and connections in this new place? Both my heart and mind are telling me yes to all of these questions which is a strong indication that I have a lot of faith in what I’m doing. I know that Marleo has faith in me and that gives me the courage to get these responsibilities accomplished. Over the past couple of months, I have begun to transfer my thought process from thinking that I don’t just need to do things for myself but rather I need to do things for us as a couple, as a team, as partners that are approaching this life together. This way of thinking as propelled me to believe that everything that I do is more important and everything that I accomplish means so much more because it’s not just me affected by my own actions but it’s also that of another person. We are a family starting out in a new place, leaving behind the mundane things of youth and facing the reality of adulthood. A reality that can be both fantastic and real, dreamlike and sincere, and bittersweet and joyful.
There are also individuals that I am leaving behind like Gene and Summer but I feel like they are going on this journey with me. I know I haven’t said goodbye to either one of them because I feel that there isn’t a need to say goodbye. I’ve come to realize that I no longer need to live on the same street as my best friends because as I get older this world is becoming smaller. It seems that no matter where I go on this planet I have access to my friends and they have access to me as we continue to support and promote each other in all the ways that we do. It’s this notion that I have that indicates that I’m not ending anything that I’m leaving behind, that this is still my same life taking a new turn.
My buddy, Michael just called me a few moments ago to tell me that snow is falling in Cincinnati. I almost laughed out loud knowing that I’m facing snow and I still won’t be ready for it. I’ll be staying with him for a while as I get on my own two feet and get things ready for Marleo’s arrival. I’m excited about connecting with him and looking forward to the experiences that we are going to have over the next weeks. I’m looking forward to going to my first Cincinnati Reds game even though in my heart I will always hold my St, Louis Cardinals tightly! I’m looking forward to spending time at Newport going through the many books at Barnes and Noble. Visiting the Cincinnati Art Museum and spending time working out at the YMCA and jogging in the parks. I feel for the first time, in a long time, that over the last few months, I am actually going somewhere. My life has a new direction and everything over this past year has been leading up to this. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am on a train ride to somewhere…