A month had gone by since the revelation that my coworker was engaged with a baby on the way and we had barely spoken to each other since the discovery. I usually ignored him while I was at work and the attempted phone calls and text messages from him had completely stopped about a week after the revelation. The beautiful girl had quit the job at the restaurant due to some complications involving her pregnancy and I would only see her occasionally when she was in town with family. She still didn’t know about my affair with her fiancé for I had chosen to keep mum on the topic and let them be. I was content to move forward from the circumstances and I tried not to think about the events that transpired between the coworker and I. Something began to change around Halloween of that year.I overheard the coworker talking to other employees that his relationship with the beautiful girl was coming to an end. They had been constantly fighting and he was tired of trying to make it work. He wanted to be a supportive father but he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. We both made eye contact after he made these comments which basically confirmed to him that I had heard what he was saying as if he was directing the entire conversation to me. It was shortly after these comments that we occasionally started talking again. I still hadn’t forgiven him for lying to me but I was willing to be friendly towards him and not make the situation any more awkward for us then it already was.
Shortly before Christmas we found ourselves connected with each other and just getting along great. My coworker had completely broken up with his fiancé and things seemed to be getting back to the way they were before everything had came out to the open. I found myself being completely relaxed around him and I began opening up more when I was with him. We had a really great conversation a couple of days before Christmas and we found ourselves eventually embracing each other and kissing. I had put aside the anger and humiliation that I felt and I was ready to trust him again.
That January, I began moving into a new townhouse and my coworker came over to help me unpack and get things settled. We started goofing around and wrestling with each other and I finally allowed all the sexual tension between us to explode. As he was taking a box upstairs I grabbed him from behind and began kissing him. The scent of his neck sent me into a state of euphoria and I became lost in my lust for him. I fucked him right there on the staircase fast and hard. It was nothing more than raw lust and I succumbed to it without hesitation. Our sexual relationship was back in full force.
Over the course of the next several weeks we lived out several sexual fantasies. Practicing some minor S&M as our sex became more violent. Pulling hair, slapping, and hitting each other was becoming more practical as we lost ourselves in these lustful acts. One particular night, my coworker attacked me as I was walking to my car after work and he “kidnapped” me. He took us out to an empty field were he forced himself on me in a drainage ditch and then the hood of his car. When I got home that night I had a bruise on the side of my face and dried blood had stained my jeans where I had apparently cut myself on both knees. My jeans had been torn and I lost myself staring into the mirror with blank eyes and ruffled hair. I was feeling a little out of control and I was worried that I was latching onto these acts without any discipline on my part.
February quickly arrived with a disturbing text from the coworker that simply said, “omg… she knows.” I didn’t understand the meaning of the text and I didn’t have time to reply when I heard a knock at the door. I went upstairs to see who it was and when I opened the door I saw the coworkers’ sister; and standing next to her was the beautiful girl that he had been engaged too. My heart began to pound as she calmly asked if she could come in and talk to me. I was beginning to put the pieces of the puzzling text message together as I allowed them both in without saying a word. The only thing I could concentrate on was the sound of my heartbeat. Something was wrong and I was going to be punished for it.
“Chad, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me because it seems that nobody else can tell me the truth.” The beautiful girl’s eyes were filled with pain and I nodded my head as I prepared for the question that I knew was coming. “Are you sleeping with my fiancé?”
I replied by saying that he had told me that they had separated a few weeks before Christmas and that they were no longer together. Then the second revelation slapped me so hard in the face that I almost lost all balance. The beautiful girl explained that they had indeed separated for a couple of weeks but they had gotten back together before Christmas and they had recently talked about moving back in with each other since the baby’s due date was vastly approaching. The sting of her words devoured any thoughts that were jumping around my head and I began to mumble nonsense as tears began to flow down her eyes. She had gotten her confirmation about our affair without me saying a word. I repeatedly began to tell her that this was something that she should be talking to our coworker about and I didn’t know what to say. Each moment was bleeding into each other and I was becoming more confused and lost in the overwhelming thoughts that were trying to make sense through this ever growing headache.
Suddenly, caught by surprise, my coworker burst into the room and he and the beautiful girl began screaming at each other! He denied that he was gay and that anything was going on between us as I quietly sat there trying to make sense of the situation. I tried to focus on folding laundry that I had been working on before the knock on the door but I couldn’t focus on anything. I heard crying and I kept hearing a woman’s voice screaming “How could you do this to me and our baby!” I was unable to fully register what was going on in the room around me. I heard the coworker yell at the beautiful girl that they were leaving and I saw all three individuals heading up the stairs to the front door. The coworker quickly turned around and whispered to me that he was so sorry that this happened and the only thing I could do was to simply nod my head.
The door behind them quickly shut and I was left alone in the silence of my apartment. I don’t know how much time had past before I started to cry but the thoughts just erupted from my mind in the form of tears. How could I have been so damn foolish? How could I have been so damn naïve? The same thoughts began to plague me again, like they had plagued me in the moment of the original revelation. The coworker’s apple was poisoned with lies and I was sitting there alone in my chair; allowing stupidity to embrace my lonely heart.
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