THE REMAINS OF THE DAY

Months had passed since my last encounter with the White Horse which had left me simply exhausted with the lack of direction in my life. He had been another piece of the domino effect that I had allowed to crash into the compounds of my mind. I didn’t want the same cycle to begin again when he started to send text messages to my phone out of the blue. It was a typical White Horse maneuver, he would vanish and then reappear without warning and without hesitation.
I felt like I was finally at a place where I could avoid allowing myself to fall into his trap of manipulated charisma. He had the profound ability to draw people to him without resistance which I concluded makes this White Horse the perfect predator. When the text messages started to come, I was prepared to finally tell him no; an ability that I had previously lacked in my several previous rendezvous with him.
“I want your cock.” was the simple statement that was sent from his phone that started the conversation between us. The typical mind frame of the White Horse after his need to worship Queen Tina was nothing more than satisfying his sexual hunger. “I want your cock, I want you to give it to me now.” I rolled my eyes at the sudden request from the creature and thought for a few minutes on how I should handle his latest intrusion into my life.
I didn’t want to run away from him. I had been running from issues that I had been faced with over the past year and I didn’t want to continue on that path. I felt that I was willing to continue being a friend to him as long as I was in a controlled environment. It was entirely up to me to keep control over my emotions and my urge to jump into situations without looking.
I replied to him by texting, “Oh do you? That’s nice.” I thought it would buy me a few more minutes to think about the direction I wanted to go with this.
“I need a COCKtail now and I need you to give it to me.” A few moments later, his next message came ringing to my phone. “Cum see me now so I can have that COCKtail.” Why I hadn’t realized months before that I was only a simple boy on the side to him and that love didn’t play any part in our so-called relationship still frustrates me. We are always so willing to blind ourselves to those dark things that we fear to see. It’s that ignorance that claims our souls to the darkness and we are pulled away from the arms of grace.
“I’m actually spending the weekend at the lake with some buddies,” was the reply that I came up with on the top of my head. I was actually taking a walk out at a lake near my house when the text messages started, so it wasn’t that far from the truth. The clouds above were casting shades of grey across the water but it was still a beautiful day and it was in that realization that I knew I was completely in control of myself and my emotions.
“What do I do then? I want you now!” was the next message sent by the White Horse. This was the beginning of his attempt to persuade me to change my mind after he would practically beg me to throw aside everything that is going on with myself and serve him. The moment I read this message, I could feel a hint of anger sparkle inside of me. It wasn’t my responsibility to tell him how to satisfy his addiction and I hated how he had just made me feel like I had just became a burden on his prescheduled weekend.
I would not allow him to gain control of the conversation or to drag the conversation out until he finally got what he wanted out of me. So I did what I do best, I simply replied with my sarcasm, “Why don’t you call our friend, the art student, pop him eight blue pills and get what you want out of him.” I had recently found out a few months before that the White Horse was also sleeping around with my friend, The Art Student and shortly thereafter I had separated myself from both of them. I didn’t want to be put in a position where the White Horse played us against each other and I felt that the friendship between the art student and I had been decaying for months at this point anyway due to our growing differences that were coming from both of our sides.
“Great Idea!” was the only reply I got from the White Horse and once again he vanished just as suddenly as his interruption into my life had begun. I don’t know if he intended to hurt me with his last comment or not, but I found myself, for the first time, not caring. I had grown beyond him and I now knew that I didn’t need him or anyone else for that matter to make me happy. Happiness comes to us by our own choosing and our own ability to allow goodness and light into our souls.
In the perception of my mind, the White Horse was no longer a majestic stallion but rather a weak, shaken pony; stumbling aimlessly through his own wilderness; lost to the shadows of materialism, drugs, and sexual addictions. I wondered if this creature would ever find his way back to the hands of grace. I wondered how he lost his own way and I thought about how I became lost on my own journey. I wondered how similar our stories are to each other and I finally wondered how each of our stories would end.