AN EULOGY FOR DAVID

I open a book and turn to the chapter on David Ray Farmer. David was a son, he was a brother, he was an uncle, and he was a father. He was both simple and difficult, both hopeful and realistic, and both strange and normal.

I think our relationship was at it’s best when we argued. We could argue for hours over the most stupid things, such as grape kool-aide being better than red kool-aide. I remember a particular time last fall when Craig was in the hospital. Dad had to leave to go to work and he told everyone in the room bye, except for me. As he walked out of the room, I remember glaring at his back. Whenever I was mad at Dad, he could tell, because I would always call him David. So when he came back to the hospital the next day and greeted me, I said “Hello David.” as dry as I could. His response to this was “What did I do?” So he would suck up to me until I called him dad, (which I would finally say by accident most of the time.) There were so many layers to our relationship. I think when you peeled off each layer and get down to the core of our relationship, there was the simple fact that I loved him and he loved me.

Alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease that controls the mind, body, and soul. It breaks you, it tears you down, and it simply destroys you. It takes everything you have, leaving you with nothing. Not only does alcoholism and drug addiction destroy you as a person, but it attacks your family and the people you love. It buries itself into the foundation of your spirit, tearing down the walls of the family unit. Not only has it plagued this family but others as well.

Every now and then however, a person is able to overcome the power of alcoholism and drug addiction. To do so, requires much determination, desire, strength, and endurance. After twenty years of being a victim of the disease, Dad had found the knowledge to overcome it. Eight months ago, the determination, desire, strength, and endurance all came together in Dad and he beat alcoholism and drug addiction. It was the most defining moment of his life. His battle however was only the beginning, withdraws plagued him daily causing migraine headaches. He had to take each day as it came, one at a time.

I’m going to remember him most by this. This past year gave him another chance, he gave himself another chance, and his children gave him another chance. The one lesson that Mandy, Cory, Craig, and I will take from this is to always strive for our goals, and no matter how difficult the circumstances, they can always be accomplished. So now we close the chapter on David Farmer and we move on to the next. We all begin this new chapter in our lives knowing that his shadow will follow us.